How High-Achieving Women Can Conquer Burnout

Paula: [00:00:00] Hello everyone, and welcome to today’s episode of Chatting with Experts TV show with your host, me, Paula Okonneh, where I bring to you professional women and entrepreneurial women from Africa, from the Caribbean, and in the diaspora. On a few occasions, I’ve brought some phenomenal men, but 99 percent of the time it’s women. And the mission of this show is to empower, to educate, and inspire women globally. So even though my guests are from Africa, the Caribbean, and in the diaspora, we are on a global mission. The topic today is How To Break Free From Burnout. And with me to do that would be Dr. Tamara Beckford, who would share some practical strategies on how to break [00:01:00] free from the cycle of burnout and how to enable you to reclaim your energy, your passion, and your purpose.
And she’s just drawing from years of experience in both medicine and coaching. And so she will help you prioritize wellness. Let me tell you a bit about her. Dr. Tamara is a board certified emergency medicine physician. She’s also an author. She’s a speaker and she’s the CEO of You Are Caring Docs. She helps high achieving women break free from burnout so that they in turn can restore joy, peace, and have a sense of meaning in their lives. She’s been featured on Forbes. She’s been featured in Yahoo Finance, Voyage, Houston, LinkedIn News, Rule Out Magazine, and KevinMD. In fact, there’s so much to say about her. And so I will [00:02:00] invite her to come onto the show. So welcome Dr. Tamara Beckford to Chatting With The Experts.
Tamara: Hello, hello, hello. Thank you so much for having me. I cannot wait to get into all that we have in store for our audience today.
Paula: Absolutely. And I know they will not be disappointed because just in talking with you, I’m like, Whoa, I’ve got a superstar with me today. You have your own podcast, don’t you?
Tamara: Correct. I do have my own podcast. It’s named after myself, Dr. Tamara Beckford show. And I interview a lot of my colleagues physicians who are doing amazing things inside and outside of clinical medicine. And I’ve had the honor of interviewing almost 300 guests. So far. So it’s been a very, very long ride. Yes.
Paula: Wow. Wow. So what got you into this in the first place? I mean, trying to help your colleagues, women in particular.
Tamara: Well, [00:03:00] it really stemmed from the journey of going into medicine and beyond. When we think about the journey of many of us, I achieve in women, we’ve really put in many years to get to the point where you are considered an expert in your field. And you know, for us in medicine, it’s to the point that you are now able to graduate and to practice medicine. After doing so for a few years, you start to get the hang of it. You know, you move from novice to feeling a little bit more comfortable to now being, okay, I feel firm in what I know and being able to take care of my patients.
So that takes roughly like around five or so years, right now between year five and 10, when you’re feeling super solid, then your mind gets to a point when you’re like, well, I feel great about what I’m doing, but I feel like there’s more that I can off the world. And in 2019, that was me, but I didn’t know where to start, [00:04:00] you know, like, okay, I’ve been practicing medicine, I know how to do this. And how can I tap into something else that’s yearning inside? And obviously, you know, that’s something that God puts in a lot of our hearts, right? You’re great at this, but guess what? There’s more for you out there. In order to get to that point, I had to develop myself beyond medicine.
And that’s when the personal development portion came in. I started reading more books on personal development. You know, Mel Robbins, Tony Robbins, the Zig Ziglars, and you know, some of the older personal development gurus. And little did I know that was the preparation for something to come, which was 2020. So 2020 hits, the ER doctor, right? And COVID hits. Now, during that time, instead of burning out, I started to excel. [00:05:00] And it made no sense because the opposite should have been happening during that time. You know, this was a lot of uncertainty, anxiety levels were through the roof. Those who were in healthcare were burning out left and right from constant… the mind drama, so much that we were seeing, taking care of patients.
Being afraid for our own health and our family’s health. You know, there was so much uncertainty, like, why am I thriving? I said, I don’t understand. And it’s not that I’m working less. And it’s not that I’m giving my patients less. I’m giving my all, but I’m still feeling fulfilled on both ends, at work and at home. As time progressed, I realized it was all of that preparation that I did in 2019. And so as most people, when you figured something out that works for you, you don’t want to hold it to yourself, [00:06:00] right? It’s a light and therefore you remove the lid. You want to shine the light everywhere so everyone can benefit from it. And that’s when I started to tap into, okay, let me use some of these skills and just small techniques that has served me so well during some of the darkest times of our most recent years. Let me use that to help others. And that’s where all of this came from.
Paula: Wow. So it was a gift that you had that you didn’t even realize.
Tamara: Yes. It was a gift that was being birthed in me, you know, and it really just stemmed from like, Oh, this sounds interesting. Oh, wow. Like I’m digging deeper. And it was an awareness That was brought on that there was more to life than what we’re doing now. And the path that we’re on, it could be the path towards where we’re truly meant to go. So this is when they say that the [00:07:00] destination and the journey like this is part of the journey, and therefore, when I was younger I thought my destination was medicine. I got there and it was like, oh, but then now I realized that medicine is a bridge to help me to get to the next part of my destination. And that’s where we are.
Paula: I love it. Medicine is the bridge to get to the next part of your destination and realizing that you had this hidden talent, and you could use it. And of course, in the fact that you were in medicine, it even gave you a better idea of, you know, what to look for, what not to look for.
And then understanding that burnout was real.
Tamara: Yes, absolutely. And you know, one of the challenge that’s occurred during that time is I looked and I saw a lot of my colleagues, and they were truly burning out. You know, if others recall during the time when, you the numbers, it was always like, [00:08:00] well, how many new cases do we have today? And for those of us who worked on the front lines, when you had the new cases, you also had to think about the resources. Well, how much resources do we have compared to the new cases? Do we have enough room in the hospital? Do we have enough ventilators? Do we have enough this, have enough that? So, a lot of the data that was provided to help can sometimes cause more of a mental harm, right? So not intentionally, but if you absorb it too much and not put it in the place where it needs to be, then it can really ingrain. So I found my colleagues refreshing the screen, like consistently, like how you’d refresh to see if your pizza got delivered, you know, is it on its way, like they would refresh the screen consistently.
And you saw the numbers are going up and it’s just like, Oh my gosh, the numbers were going up and you saw the anxiety level heightening and heightening and heightening. Well, [00:09:00] for me, I just worked. I just, well, the patients are coming in. I’ll take care of the patients. I didn’t let the numbers per se, I didn’t internalize it as much and I found that in doing so I was able to be a little bit more level-headed as to what needed to be done and be able to keep my peace, which is so important to be able to take care of the patients and able to take care and enjoy my family at the end of my shifts.
Paula: That truly was a gift, truly was a gift. So when we talk about burnout, I know there are different phases of burnout. Can you elaborate on that?
Tamara: Absolutely. And the thing about burnout that people often, you know, they hear it and sometimes some might even get, feel as if they’re getting immune to the words, but you know, I implore you [00:10:00] not to, because it doesn’t happen at a snap. As you mentioned, there are phases to it. So phase one is that the onset of stress and during that time, you know, this is almost as if like you got this job and you’re so excited and you feel like I’m going to make such a great impact and I’m going to be able to effect change and you’re just really, really excited with all these great ideas you have and what you’re seeing around you.
At that point, you’re feeling good. But then you have the chronic stress. Now, during the chronic stress, which is phase two, at that point, you know, the stress levels are a little bit there, but you’re able to manage. Don’t feel like you’re completely drowning. You might start to manifest a little bit of what we call the psychosomatic symptoms. And that’s the medical term for the mental and physical symptoms starting to show. Such as having a little bit of an upset stomach. [00:11:00] Let me go and get this checked out. I’m having a headache. Okay, maybe something bad’s happening. Let me get it checked out. And you’re getting it checked out.
But guess what? Everything’s coming back normal. So this chronic headache that you’re having is normal, right? The stomach, the results are normal. So then now you’re trying to figure out like, well, why do I consistently have this headache and things are normal? Okay. But it’s because of the stress, then you get to now you’re on the burnouts, right? So you’re getting there into that deeper phase of the actual burnout phase. So when you’re having movement from the chronic to that burnout phase, that’s when you have the exhaustion. And for those who have been through burnout or going through it, you know that exhaustion.
That’s that I’m sitting in front of the building. And I’m pep talking myself to go inside. I’m putting my head on the steering wheel and wondering, am I [00:12:00] going to make it through today? And I’m saying, you know what? You can do it. You can do it. So once you are there, that’s the exhaustion. And then you start to get cynical. So someone asks you, Hey, Janet, can you do this? And you’re like, yeah, whatever. Oh, Janet didn’t used to be like that. Or, Hey Janet, have you seen this new thing? So exciting, right? Mmm yeah, it is what it is. Okay, so the cynicism is happening, right? And then you start to have this decreased sense of accomplishment in the work that you’re doing. So Janet, oh my God, you did such a great job. That account that you worked on was able to provide the funding for this new outreach program to help these kids. We’re just so happy. We did a great job. And Janet is like, Oh yeah, thanks. Because she’s not feeling that sense of [00:13:00] accomplishment.
If you think about everything that we do, right? There’s usually a goal. And once you reach and accomplish a goal, you release those hormones and then you feel, wow, that was great. There’s pleasure. There’s like, you know, that sense of, wow, I’ve done something and I’m having an impact. When that’s gone, what’s the meaning? So you’ve lost that sense of accomplishment. So that’s the true burnout. So exhaustion, decreased sense of accomplishment, and then cynicism, which is a detachment from your work, detachment from those around you. And then the phase of crisis, which is the phase that I often worried and this is why I do the work that I do. Which the crisis phase is when you move from, I don’t really know why I’m here in this job to, I don’t know why I’m here on this earth. [00:14:00] So that’s a transition phase now there are multiple ways that people talk about burnout, when they hear that no it’s not a mental health issue. It’s really environmental, and with the job or, you know, which is true.
Through its true definition, it’s a psychological response to chronic workplace stress. However, unresolved burnout is a bridge to mental health illnesses, especially anxiety and depression. They mimic, they’re just two steps away. Imagine how many people we can save from getting to the place of truly having a mental health issue, if we can undo burnout, if we can see them in their faces and say, Oh, whoa, I see what’s going on, let’s help you to get back. It’s a liken to someone who is [00:15:00] pre-diabetic versus the diabetic. Once you’re diabetic, your system has changed physiologically to the point that, yes, you’ll probably need to be on medication. Once you’re pre-diabetic, why don’t we undo to reduce the chance that you truly become that. And that’s how I look at burnout and mental.
Paula: Yeah. And it’s real. I know that you work a lot with physicians, right? And I know for physicians, sometimes it’s really hard for them to admit, you know, that breaking point because really and truly, the world has been cultured to look to, okay, you go to something’s wrong, you go to the physician. So it’s almost like the physician, nothing, you know, they are immune to all of this. And but you mentor and speaking with you and reading your bio, you [00:16:00] mentor lots of physicians. Is there I mean, is there a reason why you chose physicians? Is it because you are one as well? And what I said, I mean, it’s home, like physicians do not like to admit that they’re ill, that there’s something wrong.
Tamara: No, that’s a great question. And you know, I do work with physicians on many platforms. But when it comes to burnout, I have expanded to not just physicians, but to high achievement women overall, and now putting it into categories. You are correct. As a physician in our training, we are trained. To take care of whatever situation that arises, and unfortunately, sometimes at the detriment of ourselves. Now, they are incorporating self-care and self-awareness and [00:17:00] wellness within the training and having mandatory parts. But can you imagine an institution that’s been running one way for hundreds of years, and now we’re saying, Hey, we need you to change and to add this. So it’s great. And it’s well needed, but they are still trying to figure out how to incorporate it to make sure that these newer positions are able to integrate wellness within their training and within their lifestyle beyond training.
So it’s still hard. With the physicians, when I work with physicians in the burnout space, what I see are super passionate people who are burnt out. Because those around them don’t [00:18:00] understand this passion that they have for their job and what the physicians are asked to do. It’s hard to emotionally do it when they do not feel it’s the right thing for their patients. When they feel it’s at the detriment so it weighs on them and they try to, you know, talk, and they try to negotiate and they try to discuss with those who are, you know, in the more of an administrative role about like, this isn’t right because it doesn’t do that. And I can’t see my patients and, you know, I need to see them in this amount of time in order to ensure that the plan is working, but it’s to no avail.
And so it weighs on the physician. And it’s a huge factor. And when that happens, that rolls over into their personal lives. So they’re going home [00:19:00] unfulfilled. I remember we talked about that third portion in the burnout, when we said, Hey, you know, Janet, you just did such a great job. You built this great thing for this outreach program. And Janet’s like, Mmm yeah. That’s that lack of accomplishments that, you know, no sense of accomplishment. That’s a big part of what happens during the fight for your patients, the fight to say, well, this isn’t right, the fight. And so when that happens, that sense of accomplishment is gone.
And it weighs very heavily on the physicians, and that’s a huge part, and that’s where you might hear the term moral injury. That’s another term that people use, yes, to describe burnouts within physicians. So that’s that portion. But when I also help, like, high achieving women, because akin to that, there’s some women who are in, corporate jobs, or, you know, they’re in jobs in other sectors such as finance, and [00:20:00] they’re dealing with similar issues and, you know, emotionally trained by the job, and therefore it’s disrupting their personal lives, the time with their loved ones. And so I’m able to help these women. And those sectors also.
Paula: Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, one thing I’ve heard that in fact yesterday someone went very close to wrote an article on LinkedIn where talked about, you know, setting boundaries as women.
Tamara: Yes.
Paula: And you know, being able to say no. Does that apply to like high achieving women, you know, the physicians that you work with, setting boundaries within work? Because I mean, these are people in very high demand jobs, you know, and very, I mean, The stress most of the time, but especially [00:21:00] now with managed care. I’m talking about physicians. It may be hard. Those boundaries.
Tamara: Absolutely. And that’s one of the challenge, right? So setting boundaries is a huge part of recovering and even moving from burnout. Because when we think about yes and no. And we think about the time space continuum that we have. It’s finite. We might feel like, yeah it’s finite for us. It’s infinity beyond, but it’s finite for us, right? So when we say yes to something, unfortunately, we also say no to something else. And so setting boundaries become, well, what is it that I can say yes to at my job? Or I can say no to at my job and determining where does that boundary lie to the point where I am protecting my [00:22:00] peace, to have the energy to continue to do this work at a high capacity. And be able to be respectful and to, you know, let those who are in charge understand my passion is here. My drive is here. However, we should not abuse that. Because I have only limited amount of energy and to also as a physician’s not feel like they’re just a cog in the wheel.
Well, I’m going to use up all of this physician’s energy and as soon as they are burned out, well, I’ll just toss them aside and get a new one and use of that energy. So there’s that’s a huge dynamic that played a dynamic of, well, how can I set the boundary? But also be effective and have the respect [00:23:00] from my colleague, my administrator, that they respect and cherish what I do.
And not, they won’t just use me as a replaceable tire on this cogwheel of life, especially in medicine. And with, like we described with managed care coming on with so many changes with insurance, you know, once the year changes and new rules, less reimbursement, but still, patients need to be served. There are so many factors. And I’ll say as an aside, one thing that I have seen that some of my colleagues have started to do in order to not deal with the moral injury, the lack of accomplishments that we described earlier is some of these physicians are now opening up their own practice. And they are bypassing [00:24:00] the insurance. They’re doing it as direct care, some practices, and they’re having huge satisfaction, both from their patients and the satisfaction from knowing that they can spend a quality time, get the outcome that they want and be able to effectively take care of the patients the way that they’re trained to. So there are many physicians who are now opting for that.
Paula: That’s good to know. Cause I know at one point it was almost like the opposite. They were selling out their practice to go join like a bigger, like a hospital, because a lot of the referrals are being made internally and not externally.
Tamara: Yes, there’s still some of that going on. And then some are selling that to venture capitals. There are a lot of different factors. But there is a rebirth [00:25:00] of the physicians who are saying, you know, we can open our own practices and to be profitable. And I am proud to say that I’m part of a, I’d say an organization. Actually, it’s called the EntreMD Business School and I’m one of their success mentors. And that’s what the EntreMD Business School is. Its goal is to help 100, 000 physicians. build seven and multiple seven figure businesses so they can practice medicine and live life on their terms. And I have seen these physicians.
Go from, I’m an employed physician, I have no idea, I’m unhappy, I don’t have any autonomy. And moving from that to, okay, I’m going to open up my practice, I’m the only one in my town, my city who’s doing something, or they said that this can’t work in my state, you know, no [00:26:00] one else has ever done this, and these physicians are running successful practices, and they’re having wonderful lives. And they’re doing it concurrently. So there’s hope. There’s hope out there. I mean, it’s a dire, it sounds very dire, but there is hope. And, and, you know, I am proud to be on the cornerstone of some of the physicians who are doing that.
Paula: Oh that’s really great to know. That’s really very encouraging to hear. Because a few years ago, it felt like, you know, after all those years, Yes. You had no control. Yeah. Whoa. Oh my gosh. I always say this to my guests. I mean, where has the time gone? Multiple minutes here. Almost 30 minutes. So, what’s one last thing that you would say to anyone who [00:27:00] a high achieving woman, because that’s who you primarily work with. Oh, you know, a physician, what’s one last thing that you would say to them to encourage them to know that there’s hope and that yes, we recognize burnout, but there’s hope.
Tamara: I’d say that once you realize the source of your discomfort, then dig deeper and see the why of the discomfort and then pull back and see where it is that you would like to be, and then make a decision. That action plan to get there. Now, there’s some people who can do it on their own. And if that’s you, I encourage them to do that. If you need support, I also encourage you to get support because it is important for [00:28:00] you to recognize that the life of unhappiness that one might be living right now is not the life that you are meant to live. And in the book of life, your particular book of life, this might seem like it’s a whole chapter, but if you can take the time to get the support and the help or to make that decision to move away, then it can be just a page. So you can do this.
Paula: I love that. If you make that decision to move away, it can be just a page and not a whole book of exactly drudgery and unhappiness. Absolutely. Well, I know that we are going to have give you an opportunity to speak with audience, a live audience who have joined us. But for someone else who wasn’t able to join us today and would love to get into contact with you, [00:29:00] how can they find you, Dr. Beckford?
Tamara: Well, you can find me on LinkedIn. I do post on LinkedIn daily and I go live, at least once or twice per week. So, go to Dr. Tamara Beckford, or you can go to my website, which is Your Care and Docs. That’s U R C A R I N G D O C S dot com.
Paula: Lovely, lovely, lovely. And I always say to my guests and those who are watching this later, if you’d like to be a guest on my show, please reach out to me on my website, which is chattingwiththeexperts.com. I’m also on LinkedIn, similar to Dr. Beckford. I love LinkedIn, so you can find me on LinkedIn, reach out to me there. I’m on Instagram. My handle there is at chat_experts_podcast, and I’m also on Facebook. So you have many avenues in which to get in touch with me.
And, [00:30:00] again, I want to thank Dr. Tamara Beckford for being a guest on the show. And of course, now we will speak with our live audience. Thank you again. Thank you. I don’t take it for granted that anyone,, is a guest on my show because you’ve got other things you can do, but to share your time and your knowledge and your expertise with me and others, it’s truly appreciated.
Tamara: It’s my pleasure.
Paula: Thank you.