Raising Phenomenal Leaders – Empowering Kids for Success

[00:00:00] Paula: Hello, everyone. I am Paula Okonneh, the host of chatting with the experts. In this show, I showcase women from Africa and the Caribbean who now live abroad or who have continued to live in Africa and in the Caribbean. This show is primarily focused on these women. That’s my guest. Inspiring and empowering and educating women globally.
[00:01:05] Paula: Our topic today is give your kids what you wish you had. And we’re not talking about gifts. And my guest is a fantastic woman. Her name is Lucy Masuaka, who is a seasoned author, international speaker, a certified professional career coach. And a certified human rights consultant, but there’s another title that she has and she is a youth leadership coach.
[00:01:38] Paula: That’s the one that you really loves. She’s bilingual fluent in both English and French, and is dedicated to empowering young leaders worldwide, arming them with the skills and confidence to make a real difference in the communities and beyond. Her work has been so impactful that she has received international recognition from being honored with the prestigious Prix des Noirs at Belgium’s Golden Artistic Awards Festival, to earning accolades from the Maryland General Assembly for her steadfast dedication to promoting peace and human rights through partnerships with organizations like UNESCO. She recently published a book called The Phenomenal Leader In Me. And with that, I want to welcome Lucie to chat in with the experts. Hi, Lucie.
[00:02:45] Lucie: Hello. How are you? Hi, Paula.
[00:02:48] Paula: I’m great! Thanks for coming on Chatting with the Experts.
[00:02:51] Lucie: It’s a pleasure and it’s an honor.
[00:02:53] Paula: This episode is titled, Give Your Kids What You Wish You Had. And we said, we’re not talking about gifts. And this title came primarily because of a story you told me. You were with some of your peers, some women, and you were talking about self-care. You want to take it from there?
[00:03:13] Lucie: Absolutely. Thank you so much, Paula, for having me once again. This is not the first time that I come on your show and it’s always an honor. I really want to say thank you for that because I’ve been on your podcast, I believe twice, and I’m grateful for that because being on your show allows me to reach those adults, those parents who maybe don’t really understand the importance of introducing leadership to kids early.
[00:03:39] Lucie: So I’m grateful for that. This is my passion. Yes, I was, I remember I was working with a group of women and I believe four years ago, yeah. Four years ago, I was invited by a woman who came from Canada. She reached out when she was in Canada and she was having that huge conference of self development, personal development for women.
[00:04:00] Lucie: And I was one of the guest speakers and it was a lot of women who they were talking about, all those great ideas on how to help women perform in their profession, either in the workforce, their career, in the business, all the good stuff that we hear all the time, you have to take care of yourself and everything.
[00:04:19] Lucie: And I remember that on the list of topics that she sent me. I saw there was so many great topics, but there was one that I felt was missing and I told her, listen, I want to talk about self-care for women, but I want to take it another route. And then she said what is your topic? And I remember choosing this topic that I loved so much because it was dear to my heart. And that topic was Give Them What You Wish You Had. And she told me why that’s pretty interesting. But I remember going there at the beginning of March 2000, and I think it was February 2020, right before the pandemic, and I remember that we had that conversation with women that day, and for some reason, I was the only person in that room, the only speaker in that room who was actually touching that key point that I strongly believe is extremely important.
[00:05:12] Lucie: And the reason why I went that route is because very often we hear all those personal development people, men and women talking about you should take care of yourself, you’d have to work out. I believe that I do work out, eat healthy, sleep well read books and all those good stuff. I agree with all those things.
[00:05:34] Lucie: And these are the same thing we tell women all the time. And we say if you’re not good yourself, you cannot give everything. You cannot be good to others. If you’re not good to yourself. And I agree. You have to make sure that your cup is full. I understand but unfortunately, we forget one aspect. And that aspect is as parents, especially parents if you have children and your kids are not doing well, unfortunately, you cannot be okay. I know because I’m a mother myself. I have two kids. I have a son and a daughter. And I know parents can relate to this. I don’t care how much you walk out.
[00:06:09] Lucie: I don’t know how often you sleep. I don’t know if you have 10 hours of sleep. I don’t care if you eat so well. And then you, I don’t know how many times you get in front of your mirror and you say, I’m strong and beautiful. I’m this, all that good stuff. It’s not going to work, if you have a child who is not doing well in school, who is depressed, who doesn’t understand, it’s not going to work, period.
[00:06:33] Lucie: That’s the reason why I understand that parents self-care, especially women self-care means also giving our children that foundation, because if we don’t give them the right foundation, they’re not going to do well, not only in school in their relationships with people in their career in the future.
[00:06:54] Lucie: And I know as a fact, if you’re a parent and your child is not doing well, you’re not going to do well. That’s it.
[00:07:01] Paula: What is that foundation? What is the foundation?
[00:07:04] Lucie: I believe that the correct foundation to build the leader to create the leaders of tomorrow is self-leadership, not the self-leadership skills, but the principles. When I think about the right foundation for our children, I think self-leadership and I think people skills. Why? Because those two combined, if we can have those two combined, we can actually teach children or young adults the leadership principles that they are going to need to not only lead in the future in any area they choose to lead in or they can actually perform well at work. Or maybe in their business. You need those. You need people skills to live around just in society. You need personal, you need self-leadership. You need to learn how to lead yourself before you try to learn to lead somebody else. Or maybe, yeah that’s what I believe. And I believe that, those leadership principles are universal. That’s the reason why I make sure that I teach children those things early enough so that they can perform well in the future. That’s all.
[00:08:10] Paula: Okay. That’s very valid. I know that your focus is really on young people, but you wrote that book. I want to say bestsellers. I’ve seen you in Barnes and Noble, not physically, but I’ve seen posts with you where you’ve been signing your newest book. And I say newest because I know you wrote another book, you co-authored another book. So your current book, which is what we’re focusing on, is The Phenomenal Leader In You.
[00:08:42] Paula: I got it.
[00:08:43] Lucie: It’s The Phenomenal Leader In Me.
[00:08:45] Paula: In me. And it’s aimed towards children between the ages of five and 13. I know you’re a youth leadership coach. Why? Between the ages of 5 and 13. I know you don’t talk to those people.
[00:09:01] Lucie: No, I don’t.
[00:09:03] Paula: Yes.
[00:09:03] Lucie: No, I don’t. Yes With Noble Leader in Me is actually my fourth book. I co-authored. Yes, it is. I co-authored one. I co-authored one about in 2017. I wrote some solo books. I wrote one in French and in English for the youth, for young people. It’s online everywhere. It’s on Amazon, everywhere. But this one, like you said, my crowd, the people that I love working with are teenagers.
[00:09:27] Lucie: And I know people usually say, oh, teenagers are tough. They’re this, they’re that. I understand, but I love those people because they have a lot of energy. This is a very decisive place. It’s a point of their life in their lives where we really want to give them that correct foundation right before the workforce, right?
[00:09:46] Lucie: So I usually work with the kids, 13 and above, but I decided to write a book, for the younger crowds. Why? I remember you said, I work in partnership with the UNESCO kids. I coach them, I train them on leadership. And for those who don’t know what UNESCO is, it’s actually the, it’s the educational branch of the United Nations.
[00:10:07] Lucie: So I work with them in partnership and the funny thing, these kids are brave, but the funny thing is sometimes when I work with them, when I have conversations, I sometimes wish there was not a foundation, like something, that’s something underneath. I sometimes wish, what if they came to me with something else and that’s something else cannot come from the teachers. It’s usually comes from parents. I believe parents. Yes, I believe the leaders of tomorrow. I built at home first. So in my mind, I was looking for some books. Not only I was looking, I was asking myself, is there any good book that I can recommend to those kids or to the other kids, or maybe the younger generation.
[00:10:49] Lucie: And I went online, I read a lot. So I go online, I go to libraries, I go to bookstores, and I couldn’t find something that I was looking for. Something that was, in order for me to have exactly what I was looking for, I had to go into from different sources and grab this book here, that book there, that book, who, what type of kid is going to read 10 books to get just one thing, it’s not going to work, you can barely get them to read when it comes to book on leadership, you don’t even find correct books for young, for that crowd, they’re too young for that, people think it’s, they’re very young.
[00:11:22] Lucie: So I decided Lucie. What if you go ahead instead of complaining that there’s no book out there for them, why don’t you just go ahead and create something that you’re looking for? So that’s the reason why I say, you know what, this is what I’m looking for. It’s not on the market. I’m just going to go ahead and create it.
[00:11:37] Lucie: I created that tool. I call it a tool. The Phenomenal Leader In Me, it’s a tool. It’s the introduction to leadership for children. But it does not teach leadership principles. I’m sorry, it doesn’t teach leadership skills. You can learn skills everywhere. I chose to go with the leadership principles because The leadership principles are not only their number one, they are universal.
[00:12:01] Lucie: Number two, these are the principles that all parents, I will say most parents, but I want to believe that all parents on earth would love to have their kids master those things as simple as working hard, having a great attitude, self-discipline, self-confidence, self-esteem, all those great things, you know that I was thinking about all those principles. And I was like, humility, bravery. Like, how do you teach a child? What does that mean to be brave? Like, how do you teach those things? How do you teach a child how to be humble, how to be polite, like respect? What does that mean? So I was thinking for those kids to become respectful leaders, kind leaders, having compassion, it has to start at home.
[00:12:44] Lucie: So the parents have to start with that foundation. So I gathered all those principles that I believe are very critical and important for our leadership in general. And I said, if we start early, we have to start as early as five years old. And I gathered them in a book. I gathered them in a book and I published it.
[00:13:04] Lucie: I created some once upon a time, once upon a time story. And then I have real life examples as well. So kids can not only go read a story that talks to them about all those great principles. They can understand it’s at their level. They can understand what it is. But they also can go from the fiction to reality. They have a real-life example that they can actually see and touch, and so they can, that’s what I did.
[00:13:32] Paula: Wow. I love that. And you said from five-year-olds to 13-year-olds and I guess their parents are not as involved as they get older. So I guess it’s almost like a workbook? I’m sorry, I haven’t read the book. I know about it because I’ve seen you advertise in it or seeing you showcasing it at Barnes and Nobles, I think.
[00:13:54] Lucie: Yes,
[00:13:55] Paula: in North Carolina?
[00:13:55] Lucie: Yeah, I’ve been, yeah, I was invited at two Barnes and Nobles last month. So yeah, we, I showcased the book twice in two different Barnes and Nobles here in North Carolina. Yes.
[00:14:06] Paula: Oh, wow. And so now, so these are principles that you say transcends culture, races, look, where in the world, list them again, humility.
[00:14:18] Lucie: Yeah, we have for example, humility, we have self-care. We have self-confidence. We have things like hard work things like I don’t have the book with me, but things like respect being polite, compassion empathy, for example, empathy.
[00:14:35] Lucie: I don’t see a good leader out here who doesn’t have any empathy. I’m sorry. Things like service. What does that mean? Because to me, I believe that leadership is not about skills and power and money. Leadership, true leadership is about purpose and service. We have to get the wrong idea of the wrong type of leadership out of the mind of our kids as soon as possible.
[00:15:01] Lucie: That’s the reason why I start with principles because I remember like someone actually asked me, okay when I look at this list, there’s no power ways. Why is it that you don’t talk about power. I said, because power is not the most important thing. As a matter of fact, by default, if you have a child who understands what compassion is, who understands respect and all those good stuff, the reality is by default, he’s going to have the influence that’s going to allow him to have the power to lead people later in life. So power is not a big deal. That’s not important. Power comes after power. Power is a result. Power is just a consequence. I could say you understand what I mean. That’s the reason why I go with those principles first.
[00:15:45] Paula: I absolutely love what you’re doing. And so now so then the build. In other words, when those foundational principles are taught. Then the children that come to you or the young adults that come to you, which is among the groups of people that you’d love to work with. They’re fully equipped for you now to take them to another level.
[00:16:08] Lucie: Yep. Yes, that’s exactly that. That’s my idea. If parents can help me out there, can help us. I’m sure I’m not the only person doing this type of work. I’m sure there’s a lot of great leaders here or great teachers who want to give that great foundation of leadership with two kids, teenagers and above. And I promise you, if parents can just join the fight. And start early with those type of teaching, like the great foundations of leadership, when it comes to the principles it’s going to make our job easier. I think so.
[00:16:43] Paula: Okay. Alright. So obviously, because this is, relatively new, you don’t have any I want to say in quotes, graduates from The Phenomenal Leadership In Me coming forward, but because you wrote the book, I know that you are imploring, you are impacting, you are still coaching young adults between the ages of 13, I think you said to
[00:17:09] Lucie: 24. 13 – 24
[00:17:12] Paula: on these principles. So what, I know your passion has been there, but tell us what made you now decide that it’s young adults 13 to 24 that you really want to pour yourself into you want to equip because I know about the work that you do.
[00:17:31] Lucie: I decided to go with that world, because Here’s the thing, Paula. From birth to elementary school, they’re with the parent, with the parents only, right? But from the elementary school until middle school, they are already with the parents. They’re still with the parents, but they have teachers already. But right after middle school and high school, it’s already college. Some kids leave high school and go in the workforce already. Do you understand that? Like some kids after high school decide that, okay, this isn’t for me. I don’t need to go to college, which is okay. College is not the solution for everybody.
[00:18:15] Lucie: Okay. It’s not always what works anyway. They go off after high school. Some people go to work already. Which means if we don’t give them the good foundation at that moment, they don’t even know how to behave at work. Trust me. When it comes to people skills I’ve seen young people. Sometimes I look at them and I said, you know that phrase when parents, I’m sure adults feel this way. Sometimes they look at some kids and say where is the home training?
[00:18:44] Paula: Home training. Yes.
[00:18:45] Lucie: Home training.
[00:18:45] Paula: Yes.
[00:18:47] Lucie: You know what I mean? Sometimes you look at them and you’re like and then the employee, you’re the employer has to do all the work. Now, that’s one thing. The problem with that is that we don’t raise kids the right way and we expect them to perform at the job. That’s not going to work. Because okay, that was only just to high school. What about those who finish the graduate from high school and if they go on to college and they finish, I’ve seen people who go and they have a master’s degree or their PhD, right?
[00:19:20] Lucie: They have all the skills. They learn every single thing that you want them to learn, but their attitude sucks. I’m so sorry to use this word. They’re just not, they’re not the type of people, they’re not the type of human being you want to stay with. You don’t, these are not the type of human beings you want to work with.
[00:19:35] Lucie: Just because they’re skills oriented that they don’t know how to live with people and like I was telling you, and I was telling another person recently when I asked any, if I asked any CEO today or any manager, if you had a choice to hire you have two candidates in front of you and you have one person who knows everything that you need when it comes to the skills, but he lacks personal, like people skills. And on the other hand, you have someone who has a great, like a somewhat wood foundation, it’s a great personality. Someone that, you want to work with, who do you want to work with? You people, managers and CEOs are always going to tell me, I’d rather hire the person who doesn’t have, who doesn’t understand all the, everything because I can teach them what to do. I can always teach them what to do, but you cannot change someone’s personality or mentality in one day, two days or three days. You can’t do that. This is something that you have to do from the beginning. You have to, we have to train them at home, but if somebody get to work, they already have it. Does that make sense?
[00:20:39] Paula: Absolutely.
[00:20:40] Lucie: They already have it. Because here’s the thing. As a career coach, this is what career coaching does. We, career coaches, they help you look good on paper, which is amazing. Like when you come to them, they can help you have that great resume. You look good on paper. We are gonna teach you how to present yourself with that interview. You’re gonna look good. You’re gonna go there, you’re gonna rock it. But that’s a good thing. You’re going to wreck the thing. You are going to be hired. You’re going to have that position. And then once you go into those door..
[00:21:06] Paula: Then what?
[00:21:07] Lucie: Then what? That’s when reality hits because you can have someone who is excellent on paper. Excellent. They look good. They’re perfect, but they can barely, they don’t even know how to behave and how to work with human beings. And that’s not what we want.
[00:21:23] Paula: Yes.
[00:21:24] Lucie: We don’t want that.
[00:21:27] Paula: So lack of self-leadership, lack of self-confidence.
[00:21:32] Lucie: Yes, lack of self-leadership skills, lack of people skills. That’s not. And self-leadership.
[00:21:41] Paula: Yeah. Oh, wow so that’s where you come in.
[00:21:45] Lucie: Yes, that’s where I come in. I want to help right there. That’s what I do. That’s why I’m so passionate about it. And I understand that if we do this right. I promise you if we do this right and we join arms and we go hand in hand with this all leaders who can hear my voice right now, can you hear me? If we join hands right now and we go for the foundation instead of the skills and everything, The next generation of leaders is going to be different because we always complaining.
[00:22:15] Lucie: We, Paula, we want and complain about those leaders. Oh, this president did this or that doctor did that. Oh, I went to the pharmacy. This is what that lady did. I went to the hospital and this is what that nurse did. Oh, I went to that school and this is what a teacher did. You want to complain about those people, but we forget that all those people in leadership positions. They are other people’s children as well. Someone else raised them, and we cannot whine and complain about things like that. If we’re not willing to do our part okay, I’m not a whiner. I’m not a complainer. I’m not going to sit here and say, Oh, that leader did this. So that governor did this or that, what I’m thinking is okay, they did that. Yes. What can we do to prevent that from happening again with our kids? If we know that’s wrong, what are we doing right now to make sure that the next generation doesn’t act like that, that the next person who’s a customer service treats people with respect and dignity, for example, what do we do?
[00:23:12] Lucie: We know how are we going to make sure that doctor at the hospital is going to treat his patient with integrity. It’s not going to do something wrong without people watching. Does that make sense? So all those things, if they have that foundation, if our children grow up with that foundation, then we don’t have to worry about.
[00:23:34] Lucie: Listen, look at the police, for example, Paula, do you understand that if we have the right foundation, we don’t even have to have the police running and checking on us? You don’t? Does that make sense?
[00:23:46] Paula: Yes.
[00:23:46] Lucie: We have to be police here and there because there’s no integrity. That’s it.
[00:23:50] Paula: Yes. I love what you’re doing. In other words, what I’m hearing from you is that right? This is where we are. This is what we have. This is what we’re dealing with. So rather than this be a continuous failure, let’s go back to the grassroots. Let’s go back to the foundations and ensure now that the up and coming generations do not make the same mistakes that we are making or the generations above us have made or continuing to make.
[00:24:18] Lucie: Absolutely.
[00:24:19] Paula: That’s how change comes about.
[00:24:20] Lucie: Yes, that’s how we make change. We cannot whine and complain. We can take it from there. We can learn from mistakes and fix it right now.
[00:24:28] Paula: Fix it right now.
[00:24:29] Lucie: Before it’s too late.
[00:24:30] Paula: Before it’s too late. And I like the fact that you, working with the youth between 13 and 24, you realize that there was a gap, there was something missing and the missing was the bottom piece, the very beginning, the foundation, the home training, for want of a better word, making parents aware that these children, yes, we want them to have these jobs, but to be better equipped to have the jobs, whether they’re self -employed or later become the leaders, of the world. We need to ensure that the basic principles are taught and adhered to, then we will get what we yearn for right now. That’s what I’m here.
[00:25:14] Lucie: Yes.
[00:25:15] Paula: Wow. See, that’s phenomenal. And I’m taking that from your book. That’s why you called it what you did. The Phenomenal Leader In Me.
[00:25:27] Lucie: Yes.
[00:25:27] Paula: Taking Responsibility.
[00:25:30] Lucie: Yes.
[00:25:31] Paula: Excuse me. But before we go, there’s something I remember reading about you and you were saying you’re seeing these young children, as young as five or six, taking responsibilities. They are asking their parents to, get more involved. There’s a workbook involved in it. They’re encouraging their parents. Their parents are not having to force them now to go read these books or to implement what they’re learning. They are asking their parents to walk with them.
[00:25:57] Lucie: Yes. Yeah. It’s funny how I had I had to call, I received a lot of those messages from parents and one of them is actually out. He’s overseas anyway. And I remember he told me that him and his wife, they have a son who is 11 years old and his son doesn’t like to read like literally he’s not like a good reader. He’s not really into books like that, but that 11-year- old kid. He took the book. He read the first story and he was drawn to it. Like he loved the book. Why? Because these are stories. Like I made sure that I create some story. Like I said earlier, once upon a time stories, it is so hard to teach kids principles without… it is tough. I had to find a way and to make sure that I grabbed the attention so that kid was listening, reading the stories and he was reading and he’s the one who was telling his parents, let’s work on this one. Oh, mommy, can I give you another example of this? Can you give me this example, things like that? And the way I created a book for 28 different stories for a month. So that, yeah, it’s 28 words, so 28 different stories. A parent can read the book with a child.
[00:27:11] Lucie: If the child is still like under 6, 7 years old, I would encourage parents to read with their kids every single night. And after a month is over. For the older kids, they can do it themselves. But the funny thing is that he wanted to go through the whole book, like in two days. He didn’t, he wasn’t. And then the parents had to be like, the parents say, Hey, hold on. It says at the beginning of the book that you have to read one story every night. He was like, no, and it was so funny how the parent told me our son is he wants to read it. He’s asking questions. And another thing that parents have told me is. Kids come back with questions now and they, it forces the parents to get it together as well. Because here’s the one thing, right? You cannot teach a child about self-care. The importance of self-care as a good leader, if you don’t take care of yourself either. You can’t. It’s hard because the kids are with you at home, they watch you, they see it, they see what you do, I didn’t mean to get you there, but unfortunately this is what is necessary, right?
[00:28:11] Paula: Yes, so not only are the kids taking responsibility, but they’re making their parents take responsibility.
[00:28:17] Lucie: They do. And like I said earlier, it is so hard to teach kids on those things. How can you explain to a child, for example, what hard work means? They’re not going to understand it, they can’t. So creating stories like once upon a time stories was a big deal because I had to look and say, how can that child can see it in his mind, what it looks like. What does that look like in reality? Yeah. So it’s…
[00:28:45] Paula: As usual, you and I could talk for ages because there’s so much more to talk about. But for someone listening and viewing this show, if they’d like to get in touch with you, how can they find you online? I’m assuming you are online.
[00:29:00] Lucie: Yes, I am online. You can have, you can find me on on Facebook, LinkedIn. If you Google my name, lucie Matsuoaka, everything is going to come up all the articles that I wrote a few articles with some magazines for example, Brains Magazine, I have a few articles on the importance of leadership they are, everything is there, if you Google my name, you’re going to see that, but you can find me on Facebook, you can find me on LinkedIn. I don’t know Instagram. Yes. And everything is there. Yeah. And then my website as well. I’m working on it right now, but it’s all my name. luciematsouaka.com. It’ll be back up in the next week or so.
[00:29:38] Paula: Wow. And again, I say to my amazing viewers and listeners, thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. If you would like to get in touch with me, you can visit my website, which is chattingwiththeexperts.com. Or you can message me on LinkedIn. Just look for Paula Okonneh on LinkedIn. Or on Instagram. My handle there is at chat_experts_podcast. And if you’d love to be on the show, please reach out to me on my website. Just go to the contact page. I’d love to talk with you.
[00:30:20] Paula: All these women, as I said, they’re Africans. And Caribbean people who now never born. Or, they live right there in the Caribbean and Africa. They have so much to share. And I’ve learned so much. Thank you again, Lucie. This is the third time we did a podcast and we did a IG live. And now we’re doing this TV show. Thank you for always saying yes and always been so great.
[00:30:45] Lucie: It’s an honor to be here. Thank you so much Paula for the work you do. Thank you very much for everything you do for the community.
[00:30:52] Paula: Thank you.
[00:31:00]