Cameroonian – Coach | Author | Speaker

[00:00:00] Paula: Welcome to “Chatting With The Experts”. A podcast for immigrants women from Africa and the Caribbean , who have relocated to the UK or the US or Canada or Australia. In this podcast, we talk about the struggles that we have experienced because I am an immigrant woman but we also highlight the triumph that we have experienced and we love to share this with the world. My guest today extra special and she’s extra special because not only is she from Africa but she’s also from a country in Africa that we haven’t showcased ever on Chatting With The Experts. She’s from the Cameroon. Her name is Lucie Matsouaka and she lives and works in Cary in North Carolina. Lucy, welcome to chatting with the experts, I am delighted to have you here and I’m going to now let you speak about yourself.
[00:01:06] Lucie: Good morning Paula, how are you today?
[00:01:09] Paula: I’m so good, I’m good and even better because you’re on my show.
[00:01:15] Lucie: Listen, it’s an honor for me to be here, I’m really grateful and I saw a few of your interviews and I saw a little bit of your work it is amazing and I just, first of all, I have to say thank you so much for the amazing work that you do, not only in the community and in the entire world because there are so many women who maybe need a platform like yours to be heard and you are there for them and I’m just grateful for you so thank you so much and congratulations on all your great work.
[00:01:53] Paula: Thank you, I couldn’t do it without you guys.
[00:01:57] Lucie: Yeah well, I’m excited to be here, it’s such, I mean when you reached out and said that you wanted to have a conversation I got excited because this is what I do, I love sharing who I am in my work with the world. My name is Lucy Matsouaka like you said, I was born in Cameron, Cameron’s the country for your audience, Cameron is a country in Central Africa and I happened to be born in the French speaking part of the country. Cameroon is a bilingual country, I mean, I, it’s funny, I’m not even going to say bilingual I’m going to say, I mean, we have before colonization, we have more than 235 languages and French and English are the two official languages for business and you know politics and everything government. So I just happened to be born in the French speaking part of the country and I remember that I didn’t like to learn English and also when I moved to the US 18 years ago, I had to learn. I was like, I had to learn and here I am today talking to you, speaking with you and I’m like, wow, Lucy, you coming a long way. Yeah, I came here because of the great possibilities and just to give my kids and my family not a different, some options, you know, some different options than the ones that I had back home but you know, I’m so grateful to be here and I’m grateful to be from Cameroon as well because I’ve learned so many things that I am using here every single day to better my life and help and serve. Yes.
[00:03:37] Paula: That’s awesome, so apart from Cameroon, I know in speaking with you some time back then you lived in some or you’ve visited and some other countries in Africa, you know, a lot of people think that Africa is a country but we know Africa is a continent made up of many countries, 56 or 57 countries to be exact and so apart from Cameroon you lived in Benin, I think
[00:04:01] Lucie: Yes, yes, I used to live in Benin, I studied there, I lived in Burkina Faso. I lived a little bit in Ivory coast, I’ve visited so many different countries before I came here and finally decided to land here just live here for the, I’m not sure, I’m not going to say the rest of my life because I’m not sure what God has for me but I will say for now I’ve been here this is the place where after traveling to so many countries and continents, I finally, my husband and I decided that, you know what let’s us try the US and then we’ve been here for 18 years and the kids were born here they’re American citizens and we’re here because we want to make sure that we stay there and support them and everything but yes, Africa is not a country, guys, it is a huge continent with different cultures and different, there’s so many things, like I said earlier, even Cameroon alone has more than 235 different languages and when I say different is they’re real different than like the region where I was born for example, Is, it’s like if I travel from that region too, for like, as soon as I travel like maybe one hour away, they already speak another language that’s how crazy it is, just one hour, they don’t already speak another language that I don’t understand. Yeah, and then I, and I insist in saying that these are languages because some people tend to call them dialects which I hate and I find disrespectful so I really want people to understand that Africa is a huge continent with so many countries and like a quick example, my husband is from Congo, Brazzaville. He is from the Republic of Congo and the, I don’t understand his languages, I don’t understand his culture, he had to teach me, you know, we have, of course we have some similarities but so many things that I had to learn from him and we’re neighbors, can you imagine that?
[00:06:06] Paula: I can imagine and you know, sometimes we have to make it easy for people to understand it’s just like people in the US are different from people from Canada, they’re neighbors but they’re not the same thing and then everybody’s, well, not everybody, but let’s look at Canada, you have English speaking Canada, you have the French speaking proud of Canada and America, I mean, for the most part, the language here is English but the English speaking Canadian, the English speaking American is different and then of course, when we look at Britain, I mean, England, they’re different we all speak English but we’re different and so that’s how we have to, i want to say, educate people on why Africa is so vast and the you know, the made up of countries that within those countries, there were people with their own culture, their own languages that were different from each others, you know, as you said, your husband’s from Congo, different culture, different language.
[00:07:05] Lucie: And the funny thing is some people don’t know that there are two different Congo’s but they are. Yeah, there’s one that was used and people know more about the one that used to be called Zaire. It’s a biggest one and where those all that gold and all those mirrors and the good stuff that people envy so much in the entire world and then there was a small Congo called the Republic of Congo, that’s where my husband was born and that’s his country so but anyway, yes, that’s how vast it is, so.
[00:07:38] Paula: Vast and beautiful. There’s a lot that we can learn so you decided to come to the US as you said, after visiting or living in different, visiting and living in different countries in Africa, some in West Africa some I guess in Central Africa and you came to the US you said primarily for your children for the future of your children. Was there any reason that you left your country?
[00:08:09] Lucie: First of all, I left my country because, that was a lot time ago, oh my gosh, I was still in high school when I left my country, my fa ,yeah, that’s funny how because when I think about it the reason why I came to the US was not the reason why I left my country of origin which is Cameroon. When I finally decide to move to from the continent of Africa to North America, I didn’t leave from my country, I was in Benin. My country, when I was in, here’s what happened back then, we, my father was, he was working for the government of the country so he had the possibility to send us, you know, he was yeah send his kids overseas to study and the country was good until we had, I’m going to say the wrong leadership can you imagine, just for, just for the sake a little bit fun I’m sure your audience is going to scream when they gonna hear this. Can you imagine my, the president of my country, he was, he came to power when I was five years old and he’s still here right now and I’m almost 45. I’m sorry, i just had to say that. Because people don’t understand this, you know John Maxwell says everything rises, rises and falls on leadership and the country started to go wrong direction and the universities decided to, you know, there was not, they were no longer scholarships and stuff like that and it would, if ,it became a little mess but not everybody has the potential and the possibility and what it takes to send their kids overseas. I’m so grateful that my father had that possibility, he had what it took to do that when he sent us most of us are overseas in other countries to study and that’s how I found myself in high school even like right before college, I went to Benin because my sisters were already there and then from there I went back to the country and then I remember actually, I met my husband in one of those countries, I met my husband in Burkina Faso and what happened was after that, after studying in over there he had to go to Europe for a year and finally, when he came back we started to think where should we go because if we really want to find a place where the kids can have more options when it comes to, you know something where they can have like, because America has such great opportunities don’t get me wrong, I love America for that they give you .This is a nation that gives you the opportunity to be who you are and who you want to be, I mean, there’s so many great possibilities over here and that’s how we decided that we could just come over here and just give you the try. Unfortunately, we had to start from scratch, you know, how it works when you come over here and all your degrees and your diplomas and not recognizing you kind of have to, not only you have to learn the language, the American system, if your degrees are not accepted you have to go back to school and start from scratch so that’s what we did. So yeah and that’s how I, that’s the reason that’s actually the key reason why I left the continent but I go from time to time, we go once in a while to bring back the kids so they can see where they are originally from and that’s it.
[00:11:39] Paula: That’s amazing. Yes. It’s necessary to know where you’re from because it helps you sometimes know where you’re going.
[00:11:47] Lucie: I agree, I agree, it keeps you grounded. And I always, yes and I, and there’s something that we have to remember all nations or all countries or all cultures have some good things and some bad things. I am, we happened to be, you have to be one of those to be one of those family, those families who had the opportunity to travel and I’m grateful because I, the fact that I was born in another culture I can, I know exactly, I have a great idea of what is the, I mean, the good positive side from my society of origin and when I come, when I came to America, I, because I’m an outsider here from the beginning I actually have a great idea of what I feel like it’s not good so guess what I do, it allows me and my husband to raise kid in a very unique way because we can then get take the good side of our different cultures and give it to the kids and then we take the good side of America and then we give it to the kids and then we have that possibility to say, Hey, I know from my culture there’s something I don’t like and I’m going to put it in the trash and I know from the American culture there’s something that I don’t like and I’m going to put it in the trash as well, so we, we know, we have that opportunity to be able to blend different cultures and the good stuff from different cultures so that’s what I love about being from being an outsider to be honest with you.
[00:13:23] Paula: I love what you just said about, you know, recognizing that every culture has something good and something bad, and then you have the opportunity as an immigrant to pick what you like it took you in terms of like bringing up your children, you said, I liked that when you said you put the bad things in the trash from my other culture.
[00:13:46] Lucie: It’s just a way that I, It’s actually something that I tell my kids sometimes because, you know, when it’s actually funny how when you raise kids in America and you were not from this culture, it’s challenging you know, because at home the minute they walk into the house they are either Congolese or Cameroonian and we speak French at home but the minute they walk out of the house they speak English, it’s America, that’s okay so, but we also have to make always, we have to filter things so they when they bring some habits that we don’t approve we have to filter them and say, “Hey, no, no, no, we don’t do that here” and then it’s challenging but I that’s the reason why I usually tell them, Hey listen, this country is amazing but there are some things here that I think are not okay, so I think you have to pick up for this for just for this aspect I would suggest that you pick up from the other side instead you know, that’s what I tell them all the time and they laugh so much but sometimes they’re like, “oh Lord, what are we going to do with you, mama?” But I mean, this is how we do it, it works you know.
[00:15:00] Paula: yes, yes, yes, it would be amazing if one could do studies on them, you know, and see how they bring their own children out you know, what aspects of the culture that they imbibe. It will be, it’ll be interesting to do some studies on that or something like that.
[00:15:20] Lucie: It would be interesting, yes.
[00:15:22] Paula: Immigrating can be hard, I know that, I’m an immigrant. Just as we said that the good parts and the bad parts of every culture. There’s some good times and there’s some hard times here. So during the tough times, where have you found your strength and can you share some of these resources with anyone, without, by audience?
[00:15:44] Lucie: Absolutely, yes, yes , I, first of all, you said something earlier remembering where you came from and why you left in the first place, that’s big because I tell people all the time I just had this conversation with a lady one day who said she noticed that people who come from the continent of Africa or even other continents, when they come here, they are aggressive, when it comes to their success they’re very focused and they don’t play games and I say, yeah, the reason is simple I don’t see myself leaving you know, flying all the way and leaving my entire family and I feel like I had to abandon everything and come here and play games you know, you don’t have time for that. That is, so, the way we focus, especially myself, I read a lot, people don’t, I mean, remember I, the person you listening to right now actually speaks English as her third language so English is my third language, this means before English, I have French and before French, I have my other language from Cameron for my region, which is Yamba and when you come into the country like this one, the first thing that people think when you don’t speak English properly is that you’re stupid, so you face, you face a little bit of rejection, you face disrespect, people don’t acknowledge who you are or maybe you are, and it’s hard. It can hit you really hard because, especially if you, if you know who you were in, where you were, you know, where you came from and you feel like, oh my God, they don’t, but this is how I had to see it, I put it this way. Well, listen, I’m just starting here from scratch, that’s fine. I acknowledged that all, everybody who is my age has an edge because they were born here anyway, so I have to start where they are. By the time I came here at 26 years old, some people were just, you know, owning homes and stuff like that, but that’s okay. And I, this is the way I see it, I just put myself, I just project myself, every single time I project myself, five to 10 years from now and I make them, I have a game plan and I say, where do you want to see yourself in the next five years? Where do you want to see yourself in the next 10 years?
[00:18:30] Lucie: I plan and I, and I go to work. I put my head down and I don’t look up until I see what I want to see. And I’m talking about reading because a lot of people don’t understand how important it is to get in the mind of other people. I’m an author, so I understand, I’m telling you how it’s, it’s crazy how people who do not read don’t understand what a book can do for you. When you open a book, you actually go into the mind of someone, in the majority of people who write books. It’s usually after we’ve been through some type of things and they get to the feel like this is the time for them to share, to help someone else, so I took advantage of a lot of that. I read books. I have people that I look up to and I not because I want to become like that, but because I’m just inspired by the struggles and the things that they’ve been through and I always, the first thing that when someone inspires me, the first thing I’m looking for is, is there a book out there that they wrote, and I want to look for it. And that’s how I get my information. I listen to audio books a lot as well, because for someone like me who speaks English as a third language, it’s hard. I read very slow in English, so I have to make sure that I get the audiobook version as well when I don’t have time to sit down and read.
[00:20:00] Lucie: So, and another thing that I can give as a tip for people who are immigrants as well and this is one mistake that they make is that they come to this nation, where there are so many people from different backgrounds and races and cultures and everything, and they don’t take advantage of all that and they stay among their communities only. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I mean, I think do you making a huge mistake? I understand how important for you it is to stay in your community. For example, let’s see, I’m a Cameroonian person, I’m going to stay with the Cameroonian community only and everything, just because it feels comfortable, but that’s a mistake. I’m not saying that you have to recheck who you are, I’m saying be brave, have the courage to leave and step, you know, close your eyes a little bit and say, okay, it’s okay if I feel rejected, it’s okay if I leave or the people don’t understand me, if, how are you going to succeed and expand yourself if you stay in just one group of people, it doesn’t work that way and I see that mistake a lot. That’s one of the things that my husband and I, we do. You’re not going to believe Paula, we have, today I have my best friends in the US are from everywhere in US. I’m talking about all races and backgrounds and, because at the end of the table, now we are the same people, it’s just one human race. And when you, when you take a chance on yourself and you decide to get close to the people who don’t eat the way you eat, who don’t speak the way you speak, who don’t pray the way you pray, trust me, you learn so much because at the end of the day, we looking for the same thing. We’re human beings, and we’re looking for the same thing. We have so much more in common than we want to admit and that’s how I’m so grateful. This is one of my things that I do and that’s the reason why I am where why I am today.
[00:22:06] Lucie: The audience the listeners can’t see me nodding my head in agreement with everything that Lucy just said and it’s true we are one human race and when you travel or you integrate with other people, you really do discover that underneath it all we are all the same it may look different, different skin color, different types of hair but underneath it all we all the same if we have we looking for the one thing
[00:22:32] Paula: Yes, yes, yes, yes and if we can peel away all those you know facades and really have conversations when many people that you think you’re so different from you’ll be amazed to say, actually we all are alike.
[00:22:55] Lucie: I agree, I agree, I agree, I’ve had conversations with people that I taught I was never, I mean, I had nothing in common at all and the minute we sit down at a meal and I realized that wait a minute, so you have issues with your mother-in-law too or maybe you have issues with your fat, lots of, oh, so you have, so your kids drive you crazy a little bit too oh, really oh, how bad I’m just, these are the simple things oh, so you struggle with university as well with your kids and the simple things, oh, you don’t like salt or you prefer pepper or you don’t like spicy food or the simple things like I’m talking about these simple things.
[00:23:38] Lucie: It is the same thing everywhere and when people are not careful they think we are different and we miss out so when I that’s the reason why I tell people wherever you got, you are aware when you go but have the courage to say, I’m going to leave my comfort zone and be brave enough to go to the person who doesn’t look like me, who doesn’t, who is not like me, because I’m telling you, this is what I’ve noticed you know, Paula, what we don’t know, we afraid of and that’s the reason I don’t, I refuse to be afraid of things I’m like when I tend to do go to the things that scares me the most I don’t know why I just need to go to that because I feel like, you know, what if I go and I learn more about it, maybe I’m going to feel better about it and it works all the time.
[00:24:36] Paula: And you can also share that with others who, as we said, people are so similar, they may be just as afraid of when you say well I’ve done this so this is what I’ve experienced or this is what I’ve noticed they would be like, really? Let me try it too. You know, it’s really educational. It’s a learning opportunity to step outside your comfort zone, open up your eyes to other possibilities and find out why or how or you know where this is happening you’ll be amazed at what’s out there.
[00:25:10] Lucie: Yeah and it’s actually it goes both ways, you know, I’m not sure if your audience is I mean I know you have a lot of immigrants and everything but I like to tell people who are here in the US and who were born here and who never traveled we never went outside of the US I usually tell them Hey you, this is your chance, your opportunity to learn from other cultures and other backgrounds if you don’t get close to people like us you will never know you will never know. That’s your chance it’s like a free chance like wait a minute, this is free like, you don’t have to take a to fly like we fly and go overseas we are right here we can teach you, how we do our things, we can learn about our food we can learn about our culture without in the comfort of your country you know or your place just because if you have the courage to just ask questions to the people who come from outside of the US.
[00:26:13] Paula: I love how you broke that down you don’t need to travel because the US is such a melting pot, different cultures, people from all over it’s actually made up of immigrants for the most part because the original people as we know are the indigenous people that were met here that will always living here. So you know, as you rightfully said, if we look at the opportunities that are given to us right here in the United States that is so vast, you can learn so much about other cultures without having to travel.
[00:26:52] Lucie: Yes.
[00:26:54] Paula: That’s a concept I’d never thought of but that makes a lot of sense and a lot of stuff because I’ve always said I’ve always encouraged travel because I said to my children over and over again that travel is more than just getting on a plane or a boat or whichever means of transportation you take to get there but it’s a way of educating yourself about other people and their culture and you know, raise people, live as different from what you’re accustomed to but I like how you have turned it around to like, “and if you can’t travel and you live in the United States, you have that opportunity of learning about other people right here” that’s fascinating to me so before we wrap up, there’s a question that’s been on my mind for a while and that is, now when you came here, was it everything you expected because you know, the US for those of Americans that are listening to this for lots of us abroad when, the US is like the pinnacle I mean, it’s like the, literally God’s own country you know, everyone wants to come here, most people would want to come here, there are very few people I know who don’t want to come here because America has done a great job at marketing themselves. You see the movies, we danced to the music, you know, America is number one as far as most of the world is concerned and so when you came here was it everything you expected or not?
[00:28:29] Lucie: No way, I’ll tell you something, let me tell you something. When I was outside when I was still in outside of the US even either in Europe or in Africa, I used to believe that America was that place where everybody’s rich like, you have, everybody’s has money, everybody is extremely rich and it’s called branding. And I, if I really want to give this nation a round of applause for knowing how to brand itself in the world because wow, I, when we used to watch movies, we were like, oh my gosh, we were dreaming but when I came here I remember that one time I saw a homeless person at that time it was in Boston I was shocked, I honestly thought it didn’t exist here. I was shocked, I was like, dude was that homeless here because it was shocking, I’ll tell you why it was shocking because back home the family aspect is so strong that even, it’s rare and almost inexistent to see, like yeah, it’s an almost not exist, like it doesn’t, how can I put it, yeah it’s almost inexistent to see someone who is down the street well, maybe he’s cousin or brother is wealthy somewhere, the family will take care of you. We always find that way to get you on your feet because there’s home your home is not your own your home only it’s your family as well and I was shocked that it existed here and it was so and also this society is.
[00:30:29] Lucie: I mean there’s so many great things that I love here for example, the fact that people are very, when it comes to work it’s like people are very efficient, people are very business minded, people have that type of discipline that comes with, you know, the capitalism makes it hard for people to be lazy to be honest unless we want to, you know, when you know you’re on your own, you better, you gotta do what you gotta do. But in the meantime, there was something that I saw here that’s I was a little bit turnoff about is individualism, it’s all about me, me, me, me, me and I can’t I don’t I wish this nation is so great, oh my gosh, so I wish if I, if there was one thing that I can help people understand is that it’s not only about you, you know it’s not, you only there’s no money is that one tool that people run after so much that they tend to forget humanity and I don’t and that it’s just difficult for me to digest. After 18 years in this country, I still feel pain sometimes to see how people are so money motivated, not everybody of course, but some people are so money motivated that they will kill for money or they will give the I don’t know how to explain this and that’s it’s not, it’s disappointing, you know, but other than that, oh my gosh, yeah so these are the things that people don’t see from outside they think it’s yeah all glamorous and everything you gotta get it’s get up in the morning and work hard and you’re on your own.
[00:32:22] Paula: Absolutely, yeah and that’s something you’re so right that people abroad who are not in the United States or haven’t experience sometime living here don’t understand that every dollar you work for, you know, back home we have more of a tendency to, you know, you give up there’s an expectation that, you know, all right my uncle is rich and my aunt is rich so I can go there and they’ll give me money but here everyone works for that dollar and so before it’s given to you some sweat equity has gone into that and so
[00:32:57] Lucie: I just add something real quick for that there are some good there’s a good side to it though I see I can feel that as I sometimes I feel like back home as well especially in my country back home as well some people will take advantage of that kindness a little too much and just sit down and do nothing and that’s not okay you know, but I feel like there has to be a balance everywhere it has to be some type of balance and if you people have to be just more educated like I say again, you know, you just read there’s some good books out there that allow people to balance a little bit because if you only rely on the education that you get from your home or what you see on TV you’re going to be lost because one thing that we are very careful about as well is TV we don’t watch tv at all almost never because not only it’s a distraction from work from being focused but also it’s not realistic that what is on TV and if you want to watch TV only to have the to have the information that you need to get going in this world you’re going to be lost for example, I used to watch TV in ameri I in my country and I thought America was everybody was rich but when I watched TV here I thought I understand why American people who were born here who never left even their country or maybe their state or their city believe that Africa is just a whatever because the images that people choose to show on TV are very unique and that’s a good thing that’s a bad thing as well I’m sorry and I want to really tell people pay attention to what you watch on TV gotta be careful.
[00:34:51] Paula: That’s true you mentioned something about branding and America very good at branding themselves that’s the absolute truth. This is the number one capitalist society and so marketing brand and sales that’s what drives this economy, money drives the economy while at the same time I mean, as I said, we can take the good and bad way in Africa and whichever country we are in Africa we need to understand that too and do the same thing we need to brand our countries and let people see to them the great resources we have there the, you know, the great culture that we have I mean, the cities we have, I’ve seen many programs where people have shown pictures of, you know, cities like Chicago and probably a city of Lagos, Nigeria or Nairobi and said tell me where this is and most people will never guess that these are cities in Africa because the assumption is that Africa is backwards, Africa has nothing, you know, we live in huts that were not educated it’s like here as you said, you came here and you were shocked to see homelessness and poverty here it’s the same back there we have homelessness well for the most part we have poverty
[00:36:02] Lucie: As a matter of fact, someone asked me if we, 18 years ago, when I came here people are getting better right now these days with social media and they can see and they look but people ask me 18 years ago if we live on trees and if we run after lions and giraffes and everything, I’ve never seen a giraffe in my life ever if it wasn’t at the zoo. I don’t even understand what you’re talking about or either zoo or the circus so I’m like i was shocked but that was that’s the thing these are the things that people really believe.
[00:36:36] Paula: Yep, I’ve had those questions to and I similar to you I’m like just as you see them in a zoo so do I have seen lions in the zoo in Nigeria and giraffe never saw them on the road but you know as you said it’s brand, it’s what’s portrayed on TV and so it’s up to us to change that story up to us change the way that Africa’s looked at and that’s one of the reasons I do this program too so that people can hear and see that, you know, for one Africa is not a country, it’s a continent made up of amazing people, successful people, people that are, you know, just as intelligent as people that you have come across in, you know, these other well the Western world and people who feel the same way about things as you do about your country people who are, who cared about their country, cared about their family and who wanted to succeed that’s why I do this. Well, this is the very last question I’m going to ask you and I know that you’ve been living here for some years and you have done very well I mean, you’ve had your highs and low but would you put attribute any of this to like luck or faith or what would you attribute your success to? In other words.
[00:37:58] Lucie: Wow, this is a question that I didn’t see that question coming I will say the grace of God, number one, I’m going to tell you what I’m not sure if your audience can in forgive me if some of some people in your audience are not believers but if you allow me I’m going to say a few things because that’s what I believe.
[00:38:22] Paula: I’ve always said I’m a believer, i put that out there.
[00:38:25] Lucie: I yeah, but I say the grace of God not to say that he just fell on my lap that’s not what I mean I’ve just it just that when, you know, our creator has a plan for all of us and when you when he is going to help you understand that by giving you signs and by showing you certain things and when you work some of the things that you do are you can feel comfortable here not doing this and it’s called purpose, you know, and then I strongly believe that everything is by grace first because even waking up in this morning is by grace that’s the reason why I say grace first because some people, for example, last year we had to pandemic it was really bad some people are not here today anymore but what do you do with that grace that you have, what do you do with it when God gives you that opportunity to wake up in the morning one more time when he gives you that health that you have when he gives you that extra meal that the other person maybe in your in the next city or the next neighborhood there is that there’s one person over there who doesn’t have a meal the table you know, when you have lights, when you have a computer, you have a cell phone in your hand, you know someone else has is homeless somewhere not you know living on the street, what do you do with that grace and that grace that God gives you and that’s, what’s, that’s where it comes down to.
[00:40:07] Lucie: My husband and I we don’t take anything for granted nothing I’m telling you I, the first thing I don’t take for granted is being here while other people would love to be in this country that’s number one. Number two, I don’t take for granted the fact that I have this opportunity to be alive and be healthy so that’s why I work hard I take advantage of everything I take advantage of the library for example, remember I told you about reading I was talking to someone who said to me, oh, I can’t read because it’s expensive to buy books, what the heck are you talking about libraries you can have a library card and it’s free you just have to get yourself there okay, don’t tell me you cannot read because you don’t have time or you don’t have money it does not make any sense in my mind and where do I get information that I use today? I get into many in so many people’s minds and I apply and I try and i when I fall down I try again I don’t give up the next day it hurts of course, there are so many things that I want to do I mean I try and it, or it hurts I remember, you know, when I launched, when I wrote my first book actually I have four books at this moment.
[00:41:22] Lucie: My first, I have one in French, one in English I have been a part of two anthologies and those books that I wrote it was not easy I try you understand what I mean like it’s just the grace of God is there but you got to take advantage of the grace that God gives you that’s the way I see it, it takes courage my dear it takes courage and it takes , it takes hard work and it takes the courage to say, I’m not going to give up even when I feel rejected I’m not going to give up even I feel like I don’t see tomorrow, you know, I’m not going to give up even when I feel like things are all the doors are closed because listen, I read a book, I read a book called the compound effects, 10 years ago and that will change my life completely I don’t know I’m not sure if you know that book, the compound effect okay, I’m going to give it to, giving this to your audience on purpose. I’m giving your audience this book, it’s called the compound effect from Darren Hardy. 10 years ago, I met him about 11 years ago, I met him in a conference I was in sales and he changed my life so much I read his book and finally I started to follow him I actually met him face to face I had a few other events with him and he actually endorsed one of my work recently and that book is going to show you how the everything that you do is you know, you are the sum total doubt or you are the sum total of all the decisions you make in your life so today what you are today and who you are today is just the sum total of all the decisions that and the choices that you made in the past so people think that they just thinks fallen on their lap, no, it does not you are who you choose to be is that simple, that’s why I said I want to sell tell people when you start doing something don’t say to yourself, you know this is the mistake that people make they see their big goal and they tell this, oh my God, it’s so far away I can never get there no, start every single day, one step at a time, one step at a time and it’s not the big change that is going to happen that’s that you looking for, you looking, what do you want to do is looking to those small changes every single day and at the end in maybe 5 years from now, 10 years from now, it goes into that accumulate into that compounded effect that’s what it is and that’s people don’t understand a quick example before I let you go there something for example, I’m going to just quick for, let’s talk about losing weight for example, you’re not going to eat a burger right now and gain 10 pounds tomorrow no, it’s one, one bite at a time every single day, every single day, every single day and if you look at yourself without working out and all that stuff, 10 years from now, you’re going to see what you’re going to look like it’s the same thing for business and work and your language and everything .
[00:44:44] Lucie: I mean I didn’t wake up and start speaking English like that i, as a matter of fact, I still have so much to learn and I’m sure during our conversation today I’m sure I made some mistakes I’m sure I did I said something that just didn’t make sense but that’s okay with me I used to be afraid of making mistakes I don’t care anymore because I know I’m going to listen to this later and say, oh, Lucy, you messed up that’s why maybe I’m going to make sure my kids are going to listen and you’re going to say, oh wow, mama, you still saying this? And that’s how they going to correct me they’re going to say mommy this is not next time this is the expression you have to use I learned every single day that’s all I can say
[00:45:20] Paula: It’s like you read my mind because that’s what the conversation I had earlier on today about learning every single day and it takes maturity to get there many reasons, I mean when I was younger, I tried to be perfect and I said many reasons because I think also culturally from Africa we strive for perfection you know, you have to be the best child you have to work hard you got to do well in school, you know and so one is always striving for perfection but it takes maturity sometimes, it takes education, it takes a book like in your case meeting other people to other things to realize that there’s no perfect person and as a believer I’m not the only one perfect person that’s Jesus but even as Christians we mess up, I mess up all the time but from my mistakes I realized I can grow from that I can learn something new and like you said, I learn something new every day and I’m at that stage of my life now where like you said too, mistakes, if I make a mistake, that’s all right I can learn from that so I don’t make that mistake again hopefully and if I do then I realized that I needed to learn even better so I don’t make the mistake a second time what you said has really really touched my heart thank you so much for sharing that and telling us about you know, it’s the grace, there’s no difference between you and somebody else it’s really just the grace of God that separates us many a time because you were born into your family and you had the opportunity to travel somebody was born into a family not through their own asking that oh, I want to be born into this family and then they never had that opportunity that you did or I did understand that it’s just by grace, that we, where we are
[00:47:11] Lucie: And the key thing is, what are you going to do with that, we all have chances, we all are lucky, people are like, oh, you were lucky yes, I am lucky, lucky, just like you, you’re lucky too but what are you going to do with that luck that you have? We all have levels of luck that’s why I can’t envy someone I’m not going to envy the Obama children’s because they were born there they’re lucky they were born in that I’m not going to envy them but I’m going to think, Lucy, what are you going to do with that with your luck at your level that’s what it is, what are you going to do? Are you going to take action?
[00:47:56] Paula: As you mentioned the Obama children, as I said, it’s almost like you heard my coversation today because I spoke about that Michelle Obama was from a very humble family and she grew up in the North side and there’s no way she could have seen that one day she would be the first lady of America that seemed impossible but the grace of God she met her husband she was even as I recall, she was his boss but they got married and circumstances beyond their control got them to where they are and that has changed the trajectory of her life, her children’s life but there’s also changed the trajectory of the world because for many years I know a lot of black people never thought they could be president of all, you know, first lady of the United States of America and that happened in our lifetime so we too were lucky to see that because that’s makes you know that nothing really is impossible, it’s perspective, it’s grace it’s where you are
[00:49:08] Paula: yeah those opportunities …
[00:49:10] Lucie: And it comes down to taking action he was in a good position and he was like he had the courage to take action and he did he was willing to go in the lion’s mouth and get it up and people were, he was willing to say, okay, people are gonna insult me they’re going to do all this but I’m here for a reason I want to make sure that I break the ceiling so that people can look up to me now and say if I did this then you can do it they can do it too so that it all comes down to are you going to take action when the opportunity comes there because that’s all it is.
[00:49:44] Paula: Thank you so much, Lucie. This has been an amazing time learning about you, learning about your perspective learning about how you too in your own way on to change the world because what you are doing we haven’t even gone into the depth of a lot of the things I know that you do but just this 40 minutes of speaking with you or 46 minutes of speaking with you has been incredible I’ve learned something new and so to my amazing listeners, if you just heard what my guest, Lucie Matsouaka has said, and you enjoyed it I ask you please to head over to apple podcast, Google podcast, Spotify, or anywhere where you listen to podcast and not just click subscribe but also follow us follow chatting with the experts or if you’re an immigrant woman from the Caribbean or Africa and have found these stories interesting please let us know in your reviews and if you’d like to be a guest on my show, chatting with the experts, please head over to my website, chatting with the experts.com forward slash contact this and let’s chat thank you, Lucie for this amazing time I enjoyed every minute of it.
[00:51:10] Paula: Thank you so much.