The Power in Your Story – Inspiring Women to Share & Empower

[00:00:00] Paula: Hello everyone, and welcome to Chatting with the Experts. I am Paula Okonneh, the host of Chatting with the Experts, which is a TV show spotlighting the professional journeys of women from Africa and the Caribbean who now live abroad in North America, in Europe, in the UK, even as far as Australia.
[00:01:10] Paula: I also spotlight the professional journey of women who are living in the Caribbean and in Africa and are from there. So please join me every week in which I engage with these accomplished women and their descendants, offering insights from them that will educate and uplift women worldwide. Today, I am going to be talking with Lisa Santiago, and we are going to be talking about the power of your story.
[00:01:45] Paula: But before we talk about that, let me tell you about Lisa. Lisa is a seasoned publisher. She’s a minister and coach dedicated to empowering women to dig into their transformative life experiences and to share their stories and lessons. Her expertise lies in turning personal narratives into impactful self help books, autobiographies, journals of their journeys, and poetry collections.
[00:02:17] Paula: Through her insightful coaching and unwavering support, Lisa encourages individuals to embrace the power of their stories, inspiring others, and leaving a lasting legacy. Lisa has published over 125 books for more than 80 authors. And 25 and more and counting of these books have become national and international bestsellers.
[00:02:46] Paula: Welcome Lisa to Chatting with the Experts. I’m so glad you are here.
[00:02:53] Lisa: Welcome. Glad to be here. Thank you for inviting me, Paula. Thank you so much for having me on your show.
[00:03:00] Paula: Absolutely. So we’re talking about the power of your story, which is like my story, anyone else’s story. Tell me more about that.
[00:03:10] Lisa: Each and everyone of us is equipped with a powerful story. There’s power from every one of our experiences. And a lot of times that power goes overlooked because we may be simply living through it instead of examining it and sharing it. And so I help you to get the power out of your story and then show you how to share it.
[00:03:37] Paula: Alright. You talked before we came on air, we talked about unlocking the lessons living in your truth. That’s what you’re talking about, right?
[00:03:43] Lisa: That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Unlocking the lessons that were in your truth. The lessons that are living in your truth. A lot of things that we go through, we’re just on the journey, and we oftentimes don’t take time to turn back and see what we learned. We’re just glad to be out of it. But there may come a time either that you have to go through it again, or there may be someone else that doesn’t understand that experience the way that you do. And by taking the time to really examine that experience, you are given the opportunity to reveal the wisdom within it and then take it and share it.
[00:04:25] Paula: Alright. So in other words, we are celebrating and we’re talking about the uniqueness of our personal narratives.
[00:04:31] Lisa: Everyone of us has a personal narrative. Even if you’re twins, you have a personal narrative.
[00:04:36] Lisa: You both have, in the same family, raised by the same parents, you still have a unique experience. Because everyone’s perception is different.
[00:04:49] Paula: Wow. So I know one of the things you said when a client comes to you, who says to you that they want to write a book is, the first thing you do is ask them what have you been through?
[00:04:59] Lisa: Yes. Did you go on mute?
[00:05:02] Paula: Am I on mute?
[00:05:03] Lisa: Oh, I can hear you. You were just looking around like something. I don’t know, but anyway, what have you learned is really important because like I said before, there’s oftentimes that we’ve gone through some things, got through some things, overcome some things, and we don’t even realize it.
[00:05:21] Lisa: We were so busy on autopilot almost that we didn’t take time to examine what it is that we went through. Some of us for survival reasons and some of us just because we overlooked it. We didn’t realize it. Some of us are so strong that we don’t even realize the measure of strength that it took to get through the situation that we went through. And that measure of strength then gets to be. information for people who might be going through it without the same abilities that we have.
[00:05:55] Paula: Wow. That’s really deep. But one thing I have noticed is that there’s like a universal theme for personal stories. We talk about love. We talk about things we’ve lost, things that we’ve triumphed through, things that we failed. Have you noticed that? That’s like a common thread.
[00:06:16] Lisa: That’s a universal thread. That’s actually the only thread that there is. You read the Bible or you can read the latest bestseller. They all have the same theme in it. You start from somewhere, you end up somewhere else. And that journey along the way is filled with experiences that now take us from point A to point B.
[00:06:35] Paula: Because of that, we can find, we can connect with others, we can find, comfort through these human experiences.
[00:06:43] Lisa: Absolutely. We can find comfort. We can find direction. It’s also very helpful when we’re going through something that may seem overwhelming to find a few things you want to find the hope in someone else having gone through it.
[00:07:00] Lisa: You also want to find the help on how they went through it. And how might I go through it? And then you want to find the parallel with what it is that you’re going through all of those things actually help us to get through what we’re going through better than we could have done it on our own. It’s just knowing that we’re not alone.
[00:07:20] Paula: Knowing that we’re not alone. Okay. Alright. So there’s an empowerment that we get through telling our story.
[00:07:28] Lisa: Absolutely, there is. One of the most meaningful areas of empowerment that we see is in similarity. Many of us of a certain age grew up when there were no examples of people that looked like us or sounded like us.
[00:07:47] Lisa: And there’s something in my face and it’s driving me nuts, I’m sorry. There was no one that looked like us or sounded like us, and because of that, when we started seeing stories and hearing stories about testimonies from people who not just went through something, but they went through something and they look like us, or they got through something and they look like us, or they had a similar experience and now they’re still making it.
[00:08:13] Lisa: It gives us hope for the future. A lot of times we minimize. Anybody could do that. Anybody can’t do that. You did that. And the person who is looking up to you wants to know that they can do that too.
[00:08:27] Paula: And that we can put, excuse me, in a book, knowing that it’s not just for us. It’s also
[00:08:35] Paula: for others.
[00:08:36] Lisa: When you share that story, you share with them the message of hope, of possibility, and endurance. Many, if not all of my authors are sharing from a personal perspective, because I publish uniquely and exclusively stories of overcoming in the form of self help, personal development and/ or children’s books.
[00:08:59] Lisa: Now, this comes obviously biographies and autobiographies are in there as well, but this comes from a place where we get to tell the truth about how we got where we were. You look at many of us and you think, Oh, I know this. I know this type of person. I know what type of person that is. I know where they came from, but when we find out the truth, when we find out, Hey, she was in a situation just like me. For me, many of the women that I get to coach, they have to first come to terms with some of the things that they overcame, like myself. I overcame abuse. I overcame sexual trauma. I overcame a lot of different childhood situations.
[00:09:46] Lisa: But when I overcame them, I actually catapulted into a professional success after going through so many of those things. You would look at me and think, oh she’s successful because she went to school and she had straight A’s and she went to college and she went this. No. I went through and God brought me through and that hope that you get to share with someone of what you went through, even in spite of all of that, as a runaway, in spite of that, in spite of dealing with the abuse, in spite of dealing with the abandonment, in spite of all those things, in spite of a 10th grade education, I went on to work In a high position at IBM Corporation, because God is in complete control, but there are so often that people will write your story for you.
[00:10:38] Lisa: And if you don’t share your story with them, truthfully, they will write themselves out of the possibility and we don’t want that. We are all empowered. God told us. That he specifically designed us and he is going to give us the desire of our heart, but I believe that he put that desire in you and that everything that you went through, you had to go through in order to get the resilience, the skill, the wisdom and hone the gift that he needs for this particular time.
[00:11:13] Lisa: You couldn’t do that on your own, and a lot of times we wouldn’t even sign up for it. I know there’s some areas in my history that I would not have signed up for, but now as I look back on them, I would not have not experienced them. As much as they may have been hurtful then, I know that there were things that I learned about myself and my ability that I would have missed if I did not have that experience.
[00:11:37] Paula: Amen to that. And I know, and all of that comes through in your work as an editor, as I know you’re a coach, but when you have potential clients who want to write their story, you talk about you, what you’ve been through, and you encourage them to say, your story matters.
[00:11:56] Lisa: Absolutely, I encourage them. When we’re dealing with biographies or autobiographies, though, oftentimes that I’m working with someone who is not telling their own story.
[00:12:05] Lisa: They’re telling an origin story, meaning that they’re telling maybe their parents story, or they’re telling a story of their family member who brought them to this situation, but it’s still important to reflect. And believe it or not, we have the ability to reflect back to really go back and dig into those areas and ask God to just reveal them to us.
[00:12:30] Paula: Absolutely. So we need to be aware that our stories can be legacy building. We can use our stories to inspire generations to encourage future generations because there’s substance.
[00:12:42] Lisa: Absolutely. Our original history was only shared through stories or oral tradition. Oral tradition was one of the biggest legacies that was robbed of people of color because obviously many of our elders were left behind, even in the transition. Many of the original elders were left behind because their physical value was not the same as the newer, the younger, the stronger people that were taken into slavery and brought over to populate. We’ve only got legacy going back a few hundred years.
[00:13:23] Lisa: And everyone of those stories told, that’s why it’s so important, because these books are now for generations and generations. I had the benefit. I had the honor. I had the honor of being raised by my great-great grandmother. Which means that I had more legacy in my life through oral tradition that many people had.
[00:13:45] Lisa: I also had many trials on top of that, but I had the preparation of legacy because being the great-great granddaughter raised in the home with these stories of strength and power, I have the ability to understand the importance of it. Even not having more than a third-grade education. Her parents were sharecroppers. Her parents-parents were slaves.
[00:14:10] Lisa: Now, that means that there’s still more oral tradition that did not even get shared. It did not even get passed down, which is why these books are so important because many of us have been stolen from our legacy and ancestral lineage has been taken from us. And when we fail to write these stories, you are actually under detriment of allowing your legacy to die with you.
[00:14:43] Paula: Yeah, that’s the absolute truth. The absolute truth. And many times it can be cathartic as you spill out your story, as you tell your story or even tell someone else’s story. There’s a healing, a deep healing that comes from that.
[00:14:59] Lisa: Absolutely. It is cathartic. It is for both the hearer and the teller.
[00:15:05] Paula: Yeah.
[00:15:06] Lisa: That information is meant to heal. Everything that comes from God is intended to heal. God is love and love conquers all. It really does when we share these stories, we have to get down into it. I get to help you to navigate your truth. A lot of people think, oh, I’ve already got it written.
[00:15:26] Lisa: You may have it written, but did you write what was intended? Sometimes we have to go back into it. Sometimes we have to discover the things that you were trying very desperately to keep to yourself, because it is in that truth that someone can be made free. And that someone just might be you.
[00:15:47] Paula: I love that. That someone may just be you.
[00:15:52] Lisa: Amen.
[00:15:53] Paula: It’s important to know that. Yeah. So I know you’re an editor and you’re a publisher. Is there a craft to shaping these stories? Is there step? I’m a mathematician, so I always like, step one, step two, step three. Is there a way to go about that?
[00:16:10] Lisa: Yes, absolutely. So the 1st step is to understand what you’re writing and the 2nd step is to understand who you’re writing for.
[00:16:17] Lisa: Now, that doesn’t mean it’s ready for publication. That could be a journal, right? It could be. You could be writing it for yourself. And you’re writing about yourself for yourself, then once we review it, we will decide now what was it really meant for? What did God mean this for? What was the intention of this? First, you got to remember you can’t edit a blank page.
[00:16:41] Paula: I like you. I remember you saying that and then a …
[00:16:44] Lisa: blank page. That’s why the first job is to get it out. We’ve got to get it out. We may get it out and decide we want to get it out and it’s out. But you also may be revealed that it’s out and there was something in there.
[00:16:59] Lisa: Wow. That was amazing. I can’t believe I did that. I lived through that happened. And that’s where we’re going to shape this story from. Then once you go through that process, we identify like what lessons are we going to take out of what part. What lessons are we going to take out of what part to make your story, your book, your journal, your direction, whatever it is that you want to make, right?
[00:17:23] Lisa: But then essentially we go back to now, who is it for? Because now who is it for is going to determine how it’s going to be written. Is this for someone to self help? Is this for someone to get some encouragement? Is it for just encouragement? Is it for direction? If you do this, like, I did this, you can get this.
[00:17:43] Lisa: That means it’s got to be more step by step. But if it’s for you can come from this and you can go through this and you can become this. That means it’s more for inspiration. So we get to decide that. And then we have some conversations with the author as well. Do you want this to be in your voice?
[00:17:59] Lisa: Which, of course, I encourage. Or do you want it to be written more methodically or? More acumenically like just educational content versus hearing your voice through it. That’s going to determine how the final edit goes through, but there are several we’ve got several journeys. We’ve got edits, we’ve got flow edits. We’ve got grammar edits. We’ve got all these different things that come after we get the story out and then reshaped, redone and redone. And redone again, so that we can make it available for mass consumption.
[00:18:37] Paula: Yeah, because you talk about, get it done, redone many different iterations, different versions before it’s ready for publication because I know that you know for some
[00:18:48] Paula: people. It’s am I going to be, especially if it’s a personal story, am I going to be totally open? Am I going to be honest.? Is this going to create a rift in my family, if it’s a personal story? So there are lots of things to put into consideration, right?
[00:19:03] Lisa: Yeah. When I wrote my first book, the biggest question that I had to ask myself was have enough people died already? Because I didn’t want to cause hurt. It’s always important that, first and foremost, I will not publish a book that does not come from a place of forgiveness.
[00:19:22] Lisa: But even if you have forgiveness, and you have given forgiveness already. That doesn’t mean that what you say may not still cause a concern. You have a right to say it, and we have ways to make sure that we don’t alienate people. We have ways to change names or not use names or be more ambiguous while still telling the truth so that you are considering and respecting those that could be harmed. No animals were harmed during this so that you can ensure that no one receives harm from it. But it is really important for me. And it is 1 of the tenets that I stand up on is that a, you come from a place of forgiveness and b, that you are not slandering or using your words to harm anyone deliberately or directly, because that’s really important.
[00:20:19] Lisa: I had the opportunity to do 1 tell-all book. Now, first of all, when he said this was a gentleman, and he’s gone on to sell quite a few copies. We just went into the second iteration of it. His book is a tell-all book, and it had some a lot of tell-all stuff in it. Most importantly, he was telling on himself.
[00:20:41] Lisa: Which I was grateful for. Now that there was actually two books. I was like, okay, you tell it on yourself. Do we need to contact the lawyer and check some statutes of limitations?
[00:20:51] Paula: Yes. Because I was about to ask you that. Make it so you get consent. You’re not seeming to exploit something.
[00:20:58] Lisa: Not exploiting. So it has to be your story and you get to understand the consequences for your words. But when you’re talking about someone else, now this is what happened in his tell-all book, when you’re talking about someone else, it’s not slander if it’s true. Sorry, it’s not slander if it’s true and so he not only got the verification that what he was saying was true, he actually included. We included clips of the legal documents that showed the names of the people that he was alleging had done these things against him. Now he, this was his tell all book because he didn’t want any of this stuff used against him. So he wanted to go ahead and share all of this information for himself.
[00:21:47] Lisa: But in the meantime of sharing it for on himself, he was also exposing some of the people that were setting him up, but it was all done in decency and order because you get to tell your story. You do get to tell your story and we’ll help you to work with you to make sure that you tell it the way that you wanna tell it.
[00:22:06] Lisa: Yeah. And that you are respectful of those that are hearing it that may be implicated in your story.
[00:22:11] Paula: Yeah. That’s important. You did talk about that. One of the considerations is that how is it gonna benefit others?
[00:22:19] Lisa: How is it going to benefit? Oh, that’s my main concern. How is it going to benefit others?
[00:22:24] Lisa: But there are times you’ve also got a, you’ve also got a concern yourself with how it may implicate others.
[00:22:31] Paula: Oh, it may implicate…
[00:22:33] Lisa: That’s not my main concern for the publishing of the story, but that’s my concern in protecting my author. It’s very important for me.
[00:22:42] Paula: Yes.
[00:22:43] Lisa: So I don’t want anybody in trouble.
[00:22:45] Paula: No, you don’t. The truth can be said in many ways. Yeah. The truth.
[00:22:49] Lisa: Still the truth. That’s right. Cause I’m too cute for jail. And so are you.
[00:22:53] Paula: I love you, Lisa. Alright. What about the role of social media, in all of this?
[00:22:59] Lisa: Absolutely. Social media and media of any kind is the second part. After we publish the story, one of the things that you’ve got to embrace is stories don’t get sold if you don’t sell them. So you’ve got to sell your books. You’ve got to utilize social media.
[00:23:17] Lisa: You’ve got to create community and interest for your story so that people will buy it and tell other people to buy it. And social media is wonderful for that. Podcasts are wonderful for that. Magazines are wonderful that broadcast YouTube, all of this, all of these things are great opportunities for that.
[00:23:38] Lisa: Did you realize the time?
[00:23:40] Paula: Yeah, we’ve been talking for 26 minutes, but it’s so good. It is absolutely so good.
[00:23:46] Lisa: Thank you.
[00:23:48] Paula: Yeah. That was one of the last points I wanted to touch on the importance of social media as a catalyst for even building a community around what has been published, because I know you’re good at that, creating our Facebook groups, support groups, or whatever may be needed after that personal story. Depending on that personal story after that has been written, right?
[00:24:12] Lisa: Absolutely. It’s necessary.
[00:24:14] Paula: Yes. Lisa, you just said, have I noticed the time? I’m like, wow, we’ve been talking for, what’s it? There’s a saying that, You don’t notice the time when you’re having fun?
[00:24:22] Lisa: Yes.
[00:24:23] Paula: But before we round off, I want people to know where they can get in touch with you, Lisa.
[00:24:28] Lisa: Absolutely. The best, easiest way to get in touch with me is to simply go to imlisasantiago. com. You can find my everything there. You can find my podcast. You can find my books. You can find, you can set an appointment with me and we can talk about your project. All of it. Or you can contact me on any of the social media at the realLisaSantiago.
[00:24:56] Paula: I love that. The realLisaSantiago. So that’s on all the social media platforms and your website.
[00:25:05] Lisa: Absolutely.
[00:25:06] Paula: Awesome. And so for my viewers and listeners, if you enjoyed what you just heard, I encourage you to tune in next week for another episode where you are inspired.
[00:25:18] Paula: Once you’re inspired by this, I was. Where you’re educated. Of course, I say every day I learn something new. So I’ve learnt a lot from you, Lisa, and you’ve encouraged. You have encouraged me to finish the book that I have written, but I just haven’t published. And I’m sure there are lots of other people listening in as well who are in the same shoes as I am, and I also want you, my listeners and views to know that you can find me on my website, which is chattingwithexperts.com or on LinkedIn at Paula Okonneh or on IG. And my handle there is at chat_experts _podcast. And talking about podcasts, I know that you are viewing this episode, but I’m a global podcaster, and so whatever we talk about on this show, I will reformat it as a podcast and please put it on my podcast, which you can listen to on any platform that you subscribe to.
[00:26:19] Paula: That’s any podcast/ platform that you subscribe to. Thank you so much. Thank you, Lisa. This has been great. I always enjoy talking with you. I hope you can say the same that you always enjoy talking with me.
[00:26:32] Lisa: I do.
[00:26:33] Paula: Thank you.