Stop Waiting, Start Executing

Paula: [00:00:00] Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Chatting With The Experts, the show where I speak with phenomenal women, women from Africa, from the Caribbean, and in the diaspora who share my mission, which is to educate, empower, and encourage women globally. Our show today is called Stop Waiting, Start Executing, and turning your goals into action.
And my guest, who will join me in a minute, says many accomplished women have the ambition and ability to succeed, but they struggle with consistent execution. She is an accountability coach. She is a goal execution strategist. She’s a speaker, she’s an author, and she’s also a fellow podcaster, being the host of the 90 Day Wins Podcast.
[00:01:00] And with that, I want to welcome fellow podcaster Sandra Barker-McIntosh to Chatting with the Experts.
Sandra: Hello.
Paula: All right. Now, of course, the name of your podcast I, I think gives it away.
Sandra: Yes.
Paula: You are all about getting things done, right?
Sandra: I am. I am about getting things done, yes.
Paula: And you are saying why…
I mean, tell us this. You’ve noticed that high-achieving women can still struggle, and I chuckle, still struggle with procrastination and execution because that’s me. I took a year to get my podcast off the ground because I kept wanted everything to be perfect.
Sandra: Yeah.
Paula: So that’s why this show is perfect. That’s why talking with you is just what I need to hear.
Sandra: Yeah. So I, you know, thank you so much for having me on your show, first of all, and I can tell you that I understand what it is [00:02:00] to be achieving in all the areas but not really doing what you desire to do, and that’s what I think a lot of women, high-achieving women, have a problem with, right?
Because they’re helping other people achieve their goals and do the things they need to be done, and then they have themself as a afterthought and their goals as an afterthought, right? So that’s where the procrastination comes in. And the thing is with procrastination, I like to tell people that you don’t have to keep that as something you hold onto and say, “This is me.”
You can choose to beat it. You can choose to move past it, but it starts with you understanding that what you want is important, so you have to give it some time.
Paula: Mm. Give it some time.
Sandra: Yes.
Paula: Yeah. G- go ahead.
Sandra: No, I’m here.
Paula: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it some… So I gave myself a whole year. Mm-hmm. That’s not procrastination to the infinity?
Sandra: No, no. And the thing about it is, what were you doing [00:03:00] in that year? Were you preparing? Were you getting equipment? That’s why it’s important to understand how you’re moving, because a lot of times we may put so much on our plate. I know a lot of people who think they can just buy a mic and press record and have their podcast, and you and I know that is not the case, especially if you want to do it at the level that you and I do it, right?
So it takes a lot of work, it takes a lot of preparation. You gotta think about the people that you’re going to be bringing the message to. So I like to be realistic about the time it takes for what we’re looking to do. So maybe it took you an hour, but here… not an hour, took you a year, right? But here you are, you understood all the steps that got you to here, but you still were able to materialize your dream.
The thing is, a lot of people just keep talking about it five, six, seven years to the point where it’s like, “Do you even believe this anymore?” Mm. And so that’s where I can help you to understand that you can achieve the thing, but it’s really do you still want [00:04:00] it?
Paula: That’s a key point. Do you still want it?
You know. But, but, um, in true transparency, this was in 2012 when I didn’t even know what I was talking about. When most people said, “A pod what?” Yes. And I was like, “Oh, yeah, a podcast.”
Sandra: Yeah.
Paula: You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah So you also mentioned that, um, overthinking could be part of it. Perfectionism could be a big part of it.
And of course, waiting for the right time.
Sandra: Yes. So I love to tell people a simple story that we all can relate to, most of us can relate to. So, you know, we all have these phones that we use, right? And certain carriers, you know, they’re always pushing out updates and creating changes to things. And so here in Atlanta, I work with some con- I, I’m familiar with quite a few consultants that work with some of these companies.
And so they’re always complaining that they’re being pushed to push out information to the public, and they know it’s not perfect, Paula. Mm. But they have to push it out, right? Knowing that [00:05:00] you, the consumer, is going to say, “Hey, this is missing,” and then they’re just gonna send you a patch for it, and it’s gonna be fixed, and you’re gonna go about your business.
Sometimes we think the packaging has to be perfect. We feel like before we put things out into the world, it has to have that perfection written all over it, and that’s just not realistic. I can tell you when I first started this podcast, those first couple episodes you could tell I was just starting out, but I was determined.
And then you can see as I progress, episode 50, episode 100, I got better and I tweaked some things, right? So it’s important to know that you can start and make changes. You don’t have to feel as if everything has to be perfect, because there’s never going to be a perfect time, I can tell you. We always think that we have to have things in a perfect line and order before we take that step, and I’m here to tell you, take that step, and then we can tweak, we can change, we can pivot if need be.
But how do you know if you’re actually going to be able to do the thing if you never take that first step to [00:06:00] start the thing, right? So if you’re spending all this time just thinking about what you wanna do and taking no action, you know I like to talk about execution. So what does it look like for you to actually execute?
Let’s stop talking about it and do the steps towards it to know that you’re moving a step closer so tomorrow you can say, “Hey, I got a little further,” instead of just complaining. And then what happens is if you’re procrastinating and you’re telling yourself you have to be perfect, that internal talk is really harsh, and that could literally freeze you because you’re telling yourself, “I keep saying I’m gonna do it, and I don’t do it,” and you just keep putting all this pressure on yourself instead of realizing that, “Okay, I wanna do this, but is it realistic for me to do this week?
Maybe I need to get some things off my plate. Maybe I need to say, you know what, friends, I can’t go out on Friday, ’cause I’m using that time to work on these things.” When you start breaking it down and being intentional, you will see that one, not only do you have [00:07:00] time, but two, you can get things done, but you have to start, right?
Paula: You can get things done, but you have to start. Yes, yes, yes, yes, that’s a big part. That first step. Yeah. You know, that the longest journey starts with what? The first step. The
Sandra: first step. The first step.
Paula: Yeah. Yeah. So, um, so we ta- you, I, I love what you, you know, you named your podcast The 90-Day Wins.
Sandra: Yeah
Paula: Right.
Right. So, I mean, you were intentional with that name.
Sandra: Yes, I am. I am. So a lot of people can relate to 90 days, right? You think about you’re on a job, you got your three months probation period, so this is very common for people to think in quarters, right? Mm-hmm. And so when I created this podcast, I was working in a corporate environment where we had to report quarterly.
And so I was able to get my team motivated to achieve their goals, so much so that we decided we were gonna work [00:08:00] on our personal goals. And this to me is very important because you are putting so much effort, especially if you’re working for someone else, to making sure their goals are met. And so remember talking about putting everyone else first before you.
So having the opportunity to spend some time and think about, “Okay, what is it that I want to achieve by the end of this quarter? What things do I need to do to get it done?” And then we just break it down from the quarter to the month, and then weekly. And so there really is no excuse because you already know that vision you desire for yourself, and then you’re thinking about how can I break it down into manageable steps so I can actually achieve it, so when I look at the end of the quarter, what was I able to do based on those goals I said I wanted?
And so when you have someone that’s helping keep you accountable that you feel comfortable with to share those goals and desires you have, it helps you along that journey to know that you’re not alone. You know that saying, if you want to go far, you go with others, right? So you can have the opportunity [00:09:00] to work with other people that can help you on your journey.
So that’s why I created 90 Day Wins and the Win Collective because I wanted people to understand that you don’t have to try to figure it out all by yourself. You can get with people who are motivated and driven just like you, and that encouragement helps you move and feel as if you’re not alone because other people are looking to achieve things too.
And it’s something about celebrating someone else’s win when you know they’ve been working hard. It motivates you to say, “Yeah, I can take my steps too ’cause I see someone else taking their steps.”
Paula: Love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there’s something about that accountability. Yeah, when you know, oh my gosh, she’s gonna call me or he’s gonna check in on me- Yeah
I gotta get this done.
Sandra: Yes. It, it really is a good motivator because when you, you think about being in a group project and you don’t wanna let the other team members down, right? And so in this group setting, you have other people that are believing that you’re gonna write the book. [00:10:00] You’ve been talking about the book.
They wanna read it. And then you build a community of people that say, “Hey, yeah, I wanna read your book. I wanna support that. I wanna buy that. I wanna go to that event I’ve heard you’ve been talking about for all these months, and now I see it’s coming to light. I wanna be a part of that.” And that- is to me how we change the world, right?
So many people are frustrated right now, Paula. They have so many things they’re dealing with. So if they can have a spark of excitement, of hope, of imagining what they can do in the future, it just changes your mind and you, you are not allowing yourself to be succumbed by everything else that’s going on, and you have this sense of ownership, right?
Because it’s something you wanna do. This is something that’s very personal to you. So you get to do it and you get to be around people that are excited to see you do it.
Paula: I know you talked about a calendar and busy work, you know. Nothing you chuckled. That’s a knowing chuckle. Yeah. Tell us about that. [00:11:00] And about busy.
Sandra: Yes. Yes, we can get so caught up. I mean, I’m guilty of it as well, you know? It’s an interesting time. People are doing so many things, and like I told you, like there are things coming to me, people wanting me to be a part of things, but I still have goals, right?
Paula: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: So I have to be aware that I can come help you with this thing, but I also have to realize, okay, is that gonna take away from the time that I need to do the things that I said I wanted to do? So it’s really just understanding your time and how you’re using it. I mean, I have had to say no to different networking events or, you know, there’s always some sort of meeting going on talking about the new hot thing with social media.
I’m good. I need to focus on this. Whether it’s making sure, okay, I got this invite, but it doesn’t fit with what I need to do in this moment. This moment I need to focus on my execution journal, right? For example. And so it’s like I know this is a priority. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for some time, so I have [00:12:00] to lock in.
I like to say that. My, my daughter, I pick up the, the young people talk, but it’s like I’m locking in on what I believe is important, and at that means I’m not allowing any distractions. Even, you know, I like to use going out with my girlfriends, ’cause that to me is fun, but I’ve got to do what I need to do first so I can enjoy that fun.
‘Cause I don’t, I know what it is to have that regret. I spent all that time, and then I’m tired. I, I got all excuses why I can’t get the thing I wanna get done, and then I start, you know, in my head about it, right? So I know I don’t wanna do that, so do what I need to do first, and then I can go enjoy the time because I know I spent the time doing what I needed to do.
Paula: Yeah. That’s true. And talking about that word lock in, you’re the second person- Mm-hmm … in two days tell me that. Someone said it yesterday, and he mentioned his daughter too. She’s 16? 16 or so- anyway, she’s a… That’s gen- oh, I don’t even know. Is that gen, is that gen alpha? I think it’s alpha now, right?
[00:13:00] I
Sandra: think so, yes. I think so, yes.
Paula: And he was saying she says, “Lock in, Dad,” and I was like, “I need to go check that out,” because my, my young adults are not- Yes … telling me. I haven’t heard that from them, so lock
Sandra: in. Oh, yeah. It is, yes. It’s very much a lock-in season. That’s where you just really laser focus on what you need to achieve.
And I like to tell people, you know, we’ve, we’ve only got a couple more weeks before the end of the year.
Paula: Yes.
Sandra: What is it, what do you desire to get done or even start, right? It’s important to think you can start something right now and feel really good December 31st because you took a step, right? We talked about the step.
So I like to encourage people, what is it that you can work on right now that when you get to December 31st, you will be feeling proud of yourself? What step can you do? What can you work on right now that you know that could be something as simple as, you know, I’m going to consistently go to the gym three days a [00:14:00] week.
Paula: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: And I’m gonna be proud because I did it.
Paula: Yeah.
Sandra: So it’s like something that you are going to do, and it’s not for anyone else to figure out for you. It’s for you to figure out for yourself. I’m very much, you’ve got to decide this life you wanna live, right? So it’s your 90 days. How do you choose to use them?
Paula: It’s your 90 days. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Wow, I like that. I really like that. So consistency. I’m hearing that coming up throughout this, um, conversation. Consistency-
Sandra: Yeah …
Paula: accountability.
Sandra: Yeah.
Paula: Mm-hmm. And, uh, and I think that’s go- that’s part of building the confidence, right?
Sandra: Totally. Totally, because it’s something about you saying you wanna do the thing, but you’re actually doing it.
You’re telling your subconscious that, “You know what? This is important to me,” and that’s gonna continue to help you because truthfully, we’re not gonna be motivated every day, right? Mm-hmm. But when you think about, “Okay, yesterday I was able to run three [00:15:00] miles, and you know what? I think I’m going to try to do that today.”
And then before you know it, you’ve got, got through the week and you did it four times a week. And so then you’re like, “Okay, I can go further.” It’s something about you telling and showing yourself that what you say is important. So it’s like, are you gonna show up for yourself, or are you continue to lie to yourself?
It’s something about telling people, “Well, it sounds like you’re not telling yourself the truth.” Mm-hmm. That doesn’t feel too good. That doesn’t feel too good. Because it’s really like` are you going to do this, or are you gonna continue to talk about doing it and then beat yourself up about it? You can’t keep beating yourself up about it.
Think about what it takes for you to do it, and then get it done.
Paula: So true. I mean, when you’re not true to yourself, it’s like you’re, you’re failing yourself, you know? Yeah. It’s one thing to fail somebody else, but when you fail yourself.
Sandra: Exactly.
Paula: Yeah.
Sandra: And that’s where that internal talk comes in, right? So if you’re failing [00:16:00] yourself and you keep saying just horrible things to yourself, you’re never gonna get…
All that negativity, that just piles on, right? So we can’t do that. We have to understand because maybe there are some things that truly you can’t do it in a timeframe. A lot of times we have these grand ideas about, “Oh, I can do this and that,” but realistically I can only do one of those things, and then I can build to the next thing.
But because I’m thinking I have to do everything, and there’s probably 50 steps in that thing, Paula.
Paula: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: Start with one step and then build, you know?
Paula: I’m there with you. I’m certainly there with you. Start … with one step. And I believe in that completely ’cause, well, I told you all it took me a whole year before I launched my podcast.
Sandra: Yes.
Paula: 14 years, so 12 years, 14 years ago. And when I’d run out of all excuses December 31st, 2012, I was like- Ah, and I did it.
Sandra: Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s how it is too. Once you are tired of [00:17:00] making the excuses to yourself, you take action.
Paula: True.
Sandra: You take action.
Paula: And the miraculous thing is that the world doesn’t come to an end.
Sandra: No. It doesn’t, and that’s so freeing for a lot of women. Imagine that woman that just wanted to be able to figure out her ideas, but she felt as if, oh, she had to be there for her family. She had a young family. But she never articulated to her husband how she was feeling So once she was able to articulate to him how she was feeling, he made a way.
They figured it out. They changed the schedule. Then she had time to sit down and she decided, “You know what? I wanna do my art again.” Sometimes just the noise around us, Paula, we can’t even make sense to even talk to the people that can help us. So that’s why I am such a believer in taking the time for you.
If that’s five minutes in the morning before you start your day to think about those goals you said you wanted to achieve in the week, ’cause remember, we decided what we [00:18:00] wanna achieve, so now each week we gotta show up and actually do it. It’s one thing for me to say, “Yeah, I wanna go on that podcast”, but if I don’t show up, how’s that gonna work, right?
Paula: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and, and that sounds like a story, the woman who decided that she wanted to do something for herself, but- Yes … until she asked her husband, she never got the chance.
Sandra: Yeah.
Paula: That sounds like a story. Do you have another story before we wrap up? And I know it’s, you’ve laughed. As a girl, I could tell you so many.
Sandra: Exactly. I, one I like to share is a older gentleman. And so I tell people that I I work with amazing go-getter women and really just some dynamic men.
Paula: Ooh.
Sandra: And so the men I work with, it seems like they, when they come to me, they are fired up and ready to go. Oh. So they take action. So this gentleman, I love to tell this story.
He was on leave. He’s a truck driver and he was on leave, and I met him at the farm, at this farm here in Atlanta, and he said he wanted to create socks. [00:19:00] He had these drawings of ideas, and he just wanted to create socks. And so I’m the type of person, if you tell me you want to do something, I’m already envisioning you doing it.
Paula: Mm-hmm.
Sandra: So each week we met, and we talked about his designs. We talked about all the things he wanted to do, and he’s calling up all these different foreign companies to work with, and at the end of the 90 days, I was holding his socks.
Paula: Oh, I love that.
Sandra: And this gentleman, he likes to tell people, like, “I didn’t know what I was doing.
I barely knew how to turn on the computer.” I’m like, “Stop it.” I was like, “You were teachable. You were open to the possibilities. You were not going to let anything stop you. And the fact that you had someone with you weekly to help keep you accountable…” I know nothing about creating socks, but I do know about making a plan, executing it, stick to it, pivot if you need to.
I’m excellent on that. So to see him holding these [00:20:00] socks, being so proud of himself, and believing that it could be done with that timeframe, I mean, how exciting. So I love these stories when people choose to bet on themselves. It’s one thing for you to say you wanna do it, but you are holding a product of what you created.
And then he’s since gone on to make tights for women, and they are some of my favorite, ’cause you know I had to own some, right?
Paula: Of course.
Sandra: And so the thing is, it’s like, what are you holding onto that you can share, that you can use, that you can create? Because I think there’s room for it, right? There’s room for your idea.
It’s just you betting on yourself and believing, and then taking the action
Paula: What are you holding onto that you can create and then take action? Mm-hmm. That’s a good note to end on.
Sandra: Yeah.
Paula: What are you holding onto that you can create and take action on?
Sandra: Yes.
Paula: And so folks, that [00:21:00] is the closing word I have from Sandra Barker-McIntosh.
But we haven’t quite ended. If people are listening to this and they’re not in the audience, so they don’t have the chance to speak with you.
Sandra: Yeah
Paula: … how can they continue to have a conversation with you? Because 90 Day Win is not just 90 days, but it’s a win. Yeah. Like we heard this story with this dynamic man .
Sandra: Yes
Paula: who created, you know, the socks that he wanted, and now he’s gone on to do so many other things. Yes. How can people get in touch with you?
Sandra: Well, you can find me everywhere at 90DayWins. So on social media, 90DayWins is me, as well as my website, 90daywins.com. It’s very easy. 9 0 D-A-Y W-I-N-S .com.
Paula: I love it.
I love it. That’s a great one. So folks, if you’re on YouTube listening to this, or well, not listening. Well- Actually … now people do both, right? They [00:22:00] listen … and, and they view it.
Sandra: Yes.
Paula: And if you’d like to be a guest, just like Sandra Barker-McIntosh has been, you can reach out to me on my website, which is chattingwiththeexperts.com.
I’m on LinkedIn, my page there is Chatting with the Experts, or you can visit my profile page, Paula Okonneh. I’m on Instagram, my handle there is @chat_experts_podcast. I am also on Facebook, Chatting with the Experts. And we have a YouTube, I mentioned that.
Sandra: Yes.
Paula: YouTube channel, please subscribe to it. There you will see this amazing episode.
Don’t just listen to it, view it please. It’s live streaming right now. And then you also have an opportunity to view all the other amazing women, and a few dynamic men.
Sandra: Yeah …
Paula: who have been guests on this show. And we are now on TikTok. And you notice my eyes open big, because I never thought I’d be on TikTok.
Miracles still happen. [00:23:00] Yeah. Yes, we are on TikTok now, so reach out to- Is it reach out to me? I don’t know what it is called, because I’m so new at TikTok.
Sandra: Connect. Connect with you.
Paula: Connect, you see. This is evidence that I’m new. Yeah. We’re on TikTok. Connect with me on TikTok.
Sandra: Yeah.
Paula: And now, Sandra, we’ll open up the floor to all of those who joined us so that they get a chance to speak with you and find out how they can achieve their 90-day win
with you. So thank you for being a guest on Chatting With the Experts and saying yes, because I’m blessed to have met you.
Sandra: Thank you for having me. It’s been a pleasure.
Paula: Absolutely.