Transforming Pain to Purpose Part 2

Paula: [00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Chatting with the Experts TV show hosted by me, Paula Okonneh. Every week I bring to you an incredible woman. A woman that fascinates me, and I know you, with her story, but even more so, she fascinates you by what she brings to the table. The mission of this show is to inspire, is to empower, and is to educate each one of you that tune in or listen because I do have a podcast. And today is no exception. I have an incredible guest and I’ll tell you a bit about her. Her [00:01:00] name is Dr. Irene Olumese, and she’s an author and inspirational speaker. She’s a Bible study teacher and a certified faith informed professional transformational trauma coach. She is the founder and executive director of the Feet to Grace Foundation. As the founder and executive director of the Feet To Grace Foundation, which is a charity organization that provides prosthetic rehabilitation services for amputees in Nigeria. Irene facilitates amputees emotional well being and empowerment, driven by a desire to help people live victorious lives, irrespective of the storms they face, and to make their pain count as gain for others. Our topic is going to be Transforming Pain to Purpose, [00:02:00] Power, and Profit. And with that, I welcome my guest, Dr. Irene Olumese.
Irene: Thank you very much, Paula. Thank you. It’s a pleasure and an honor to be with you this evening.
Paula: Thank you. I am honored that you are my guest, because you inspire me, and that’s one of the reasons I wanted to have you on, because if you inspire me, I know you can inspire others. So as you, my listeners and viewers, the topic is on Transforming Pain to Purpose, Power and Pain. There’s a reason that we have that as the topic. So I’m going to ask Irene if she’s willing to share her story with us.
Irene: Okay. Yes, of course. And [00:03:00] thank you once again Paula. I will try to do a mother of all summary of my story. As soon as I got on the waiting list, we just called up a few friends and told them, this is what we are facing. And we needed them to pray along with us. And all we were asking them to pray is for God to keep me alive until a suitable candidate is found for me. Because I simply could not pray that somebody should die. And while I was struggling with that, God led me to Isaiah 43 and it was like, because you’re precious to me. And I love you. I give Egypt for your handsome and silver for your sake, and I give men in exchange for your life. When I read that, I mean, it floored me. This is how precious I am to God that He’s [00:04:00] willing to give a life for me.
And so my only prayer throughout that period was that the person who is going to be the candidate, That’s going to provide me with the lungs that will keep me alive will also be a candidate for heaven period of waiting. So January I got called back to the hospital. I had the same doctor who had initially said no, and he wanted to review my case again. And we thought that I had moved quite up on the waiting list, you know, at that point. And he asked me to give him the permission to take me off the waiting list that he’s still not convinced that I could be a suitable candidate. And he was a very senior professor.
Paula: He asked you for permission.
Irene: Yes. They felt that the lungs would be, that it will do better for
Paula: somebody else,
Irene: somebody [00:05:00] else younger than I was and all of that. I looked at him in the face and I said to him, what are my options? I don’t take this, I die. I take this, I die. I rather fight, die fighting.
Paula: Yes. I love that. That was great.
Irene: I wasn’t going to give him that permission to take me off the list. So I refused and four months later, Saturday, April 13th at [4:30], I got the phone call. I was actually in the midst of preparing for a woman conference. I had been in my church and arranged for a friend of mine, a minister, a woman minister from Nigeria to come and minister at this conference. So I was in the midst of the operation. [00:06:00] Bear in mind, I was still wearing an oxygen canister. I had to have oxygen with me everywhere I was going. And since 2010, I was also on non-invasive ventilation.
My doctors were afraid that my lungs would stop breathing while I’m sleeping. So I dared not go to sleep without a mask fastened to my face.
Paula: Wow.
Irene: And from using just one reservoir of oxygen in 2000, you know, per week in 2008, I was now using three reservoirs of oxygen per week,
Paula: per day,
Irene: per week,
Paula: per week,
Irene: week reservoir. So from one per week to three per week. So the situation was progressively going downward, was worsening. And really as far as my husband was concerned at that time, I was just literally on life support and
Paula: walking,
Irene: just waiting and waiting, but I couldn’t wait idle and I got [00:07:00] myself what I could do. I did. And that was what I was organizing this women conference. And I remember that morning I had a very strong urge to make a list of everything that needed to be done. So as soon as my husband left for, you know, I spent the whole day writing all the things that needed to be done, what is still pending, because it was now two weeks to this conference. I wrote down, To the last detail, snacks, decoration, just edits and had it all listed out where this is going, where that is going, when you finish this, you do that. And I had barely finished making this list, when the phone call came.
Paula: Talk about divine timing.
Irene: Divine timing. And I was at home with my second son. My first son was already in the university in the United States. My husband on Saturday afternoon, you can find him at home is at the choir in church and the phone rang, I picked it up and I was from the hospital and they told me [00:08:00] that they had found a suitable donor for me. And was I ready?
Paula: I mean, immediately I’m sure.
Irene: Coming. My heart melted like wax within me. The vision I saw in that moment was somebody on the bed and a family weeping. I heard about that person and that broke my heart. I actually dropped on my chair and I could have, of course, when I’m in that state, my heart rate increased and then did that more oxygen that started hyperventilating. So I had to call my husband, my son down to bring the ventilator because I couldn’t breathe well. And the doctor was saying, are you okay? Is everything still as the last checkup and say, yes we’re sending an ambulance from your right to, for you right away. I said, no, I’m going to call my husband. My husband will bring me to the hospital. So as it gets your dad. And my [00:09:00] husband’s usual practice, he would have turned off his phone. And so we had, he literally had to call every member of the choir to see who has the phone on.
Paula: Oh my God.
Irene: So that they could get my husband. And as soon as he got him said they have called, he knew what exactly that meant and he started coming and while I dropped the phone from there. They called me from the ambulance services and said they’re on my, on their way.
Paula: Anyway.
Irene: They were on their way with coming for me. Now because of the system in this country, the hospital that is the center for lungs, that’s about 60 kilometers from where I live. So I really wanted my husband to be home before they took me. And they just both arrived at the door at the same time and we’re left for the hospital. I couldn’t even begin to process what was going on in my mind as we were during that drive. We got to the hospital, they prepared me, but I remembered something significant happened just as they were preparing me.
They had given me the theater gown to wear. And [00:10:00] I got out of bed. And asked my husband to help me to change. And I remembered vividly that, I mean, I was wearing pants and top and he helped me, you know, he had to go on his knee to help me remove the pants. And I had my hand on his shoulder. And that image stayed in the recess of my heart until a few months later. It was apparently the last time I stood on my two legs. After I go back in bed. Did you collapse then? I mean, while he was helping? No, I didn’t collapse. I go back in bed. Mm-Hmm. And I was wheeled to the theater and I said to my husband, two things, I will see you again. One, two, under no circumstances must you cancel that conference. Whatever happens, go on. All the information I and with that they wheeled me in. Well, I [00:11:00] did see him again, but not until about six weeks later.
Paula: Wow.
Irene: So this part of the story was told to me that they. The surgery itself went very well. Everything, all the constellation of risks that the doctors had talked about that could happen during the surgery itself did not take place. Not one, but barely 10 hours after the surgery. Hell broke loose. I mean, my husband had literally just left the hospital and right back at when they called him back, my system started shutting down. I was rejecting. I mean, one by one, all my systems were shutting down. I said, he got back and he saw me. I couldn’t believe the sight that you saw.
[00:12:00] That’s why I need to take a picture. That was the last thing on his mind. Apparently what happened was that because of my previous medical history and I am AS. I must have sickled and quite significantly. So I had to be placed on a heart lung machine during the surgery. So the situation was so bad that they had to medically induce coma. So I was on a heart lung machine for six weeks and I went into renal failure. I had to be on dialysis as well. And so it was like the blood was coming in from one machine, going through my body, goes out through one of the machine, you know, it was. It’s that I had tubes in every office. It was just a maze of tubes just to keep me alive.
And while all of that was going on, I think two, three weeks into the coma. They called my husband to say that something is really going wrong. It looks as if [00:13:00] the blood circulation is not so efficient. And so I was not getting blood adequate supply to both my extremities, my legs and my hands. And at that point, they said to him that it looked like they would have to amputate both legs of both ends. My husband said, he came home and he said, nah, I mean, I have my peeve. I’m a shoe collector. I love my shoes. And he went into my shoe shelf and he put everything out into the middle of the bedroom. God, who is going to wear this? What’s going to happen to this? And he came back to the hospital and told them that no, he was not going to give permission I have petition to be done at that point, that if I come back, we make that decision together.
If I don’t, that’s it. So, but while I was in coma, it was not peaceful rest for me, it was warfare. It was, It was the fiercest battle I’ve [00:14:00] ever fought in my life. I saw things that I still cannot believe. I still can’t describe adequately. I tried as best as to do that in my book. It was very scary thing that I saw. But the interesting thing was that at the end of it, I come back into light. It was like a tug of war. I was like open to opposing powers pulling, at me. And, needless to say that by the time I came out of coma, I was mentally, physically, spiritually exhausted. I had no clue where I was in the world.
I was so confused that, because while I was in coma, I thought I was, I found myself in winter. And I was hearing Christmas songs, snows and carousels singing and all of that. But this was April. So how long was I away? Where was I? I was really confused. And of course, I came out of coma [00:15:00] and then they broke the news to me that I had, I got very strong lungs. But there was a lot of complications. And because of that, both my lines, both my hands and my legs will need to be amputated to keep me alive.
Paula: Oh my word. I think this is a story, well, looking at you, first of all, this is a miracle. And now, okay, we are at this stage now, you say both your hands and your legs would need to be amputated after going through six weeks, as you said, a coma,
Irene: 20 years of coughing nonstop.
Paula: Yes.
Irene: Seven years on oxygen, three years on ventilation, six weeks in coma,
Paula: oh my.
Irene: And everything was coming to strong lungs, no legs, no arms. And I said, no, I’m not doing this. I’m done. I’m done fighting. I’m not doing this. Yes. All I could think is that [00:16:00] what, at 47, I’m going to be quadruple amputee.
Paula: Yes.
Irene: Dependent on my family, my young sons. No, I’m not doing this. I wasn’t ready to do this. And I was pained in the innermost core of my being.
Paula: It’s been, it had been a long road.
Irene: It’s been a long road. And I sat there and thought, I see you. And I wondered, God, what’s all this? What’s this about? And I don’t want to hear how comfort you and all your afflictions, I’ve done this for 20 years. I’ve been using every comfort. Why this? So my husband asked to give us a week to come to terms with this, to help me come to terms with this. And for us to be able to make a decision. And he had to go on a duty travel to Somalia because all [00:17:00] this was great. Nobody in his office knew what was happening. He couldn’t take time off. He had a very toxic work environment. And so he was managing all of this with his full workload. So he went on a walk to UT, to Somalia. And while he was there, there’s another, one of our friends who was part of those who had been playing along with us also attending that meeting.
And at the end of the one week, he was getting ready to come back. And they had a conversation, of course, about what was going on and what he had to come into when he gets back. And this man said to my husband, God says he would give Irene the feet of grace that would take her to places that natural feet cannot take her. And my husband said, as soon as he heard that, he had peace and that people will see Irene and say that is grace in motion. So he texted it to me. Of course, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even talk. So my son read it to me that God said he’s going to give me a feet of [00:18:00] grace. I said, I don’t want feet of grace.
I want my legs. So I came back and we chatted with the children about it. And I said to the doctors, if I have to do this, I’m going to, I want two things before I, I agree. One I want to stand for the last time on my two legs. And I said, it’s absolutely impossible that both legs are dead. That picture of the last time came back last time when I stood on the legs, that picture scene, my husband, kneeling before me just came back. So I could have a reference point to the last time. When I stood on my own natural legs. And I asked for the second thing that I want to be taken out of the ICU into the garden. And I want to feel the sun on my face. I know that God is still alive. I feel the breeze. [00:19:00] I know that he cares for me. I see you on all this stuff.
Paula: Yes.
Irene: Of course they refused to go until, but my doctor went and had a chat and said, look, let’s give her something. Let’s see how we can make one thing happen. She didn’t bargain for this. And they’ve done the audits. There’s no medical error. It was just, something went wrong somewhere. It was not a human error. So, they came back and said, if any nurse is willing, we will hold, you know, completely no responsibility. Then they can take me. So one of the nurses volunteered so that they disconnected me from the machine and put me on the mobile, packed me up, wrapped up with everything and for a 10 minutes trip to the garden. And I felt [00:20:00] the sun on my face and the breeze on my skin and I knew that God is still alive out there and he loves me.
Paula: Amen.
Irene: And we came back. And the following day, I was back in the theater and both legs were amputated below the knees. And that was on the 31st of May. And I asked my husband, what? They took my legs. What next? Miraculously, my hands began to recover with signs of life. We spent three months taking excavating dead tissues from my hands and lost all my nails. All the 10 of them and this grew back and I had to go through a lot of therapy to learn how to write again and regain full functionality of my hands and by the grace of God, [00:21:00] I have full functionality of both hands and I have made beads. Now I do jewelry with the same hands that would have been amputated. I’ve written two books. I’m on my third book now and what else to the glory of God. So with both legs gone and all of this going on, I asked God, what next? And he said to me, two assignments, inspire hope, share your story everywhere.
I will open the door for you to inspire hope for others. Enrich lives. It’s where I hope I understood because that’s what I had been doing. Enrich lives didn’t become clear until when I started learning how to walk again. And we, knowing what it took for me to learn how to walk again with my artificial legs, how much it costs and all that went into that. It was in that process of learning how to walk again that this [00:22:00] thought dropped in my heart. How are amputees in poor communities coping? I mean, I knew what went into me learning how to walk again. And at that point we knew what exactly we’re going to do. Was going to find out what was happening to amputees in Nigeria.
And by the time I came out of the hospital, after 119 days, I had already my bidding sets ordered, and I had done the background check to find out. Who is supporting amputees in Nigeria, and we decided that we’re going to set up a foundation that will provide prosthetic limbs for amputees in Nigeria. That’s how we now have Feet of Grace Foundation that supports amputees in Nigeria. We have Hands of Grace, which is my business, and we have Grace in the Stomps, which is the book, Beyond the Pain, which is the book. Ministry of transformational coaching, where I help people to transform their pain to [00:23:00] purpose, power and progress.
Wow.
Paula: It’s not just a story. This is a story of purpose. This is a story of hope. This is a story of inspiration. This is a story of life, just looking at you, hearing you relay the story on the journey. It’s been an arduous journey, but out of it has come life. And why I say life? Because just you look, I mean, seeing you alive, seeing you well, seeing the hands that they said they wanted to amputate, you’re able to move them, you do jewelry, that takes some dexterity. I can’t even pronounce it. The word.
Irene: Dexterity. Yeah. Yeah. That’s the miracle. Yeah.
Paula: That’s a miracle. You are a living [00:24:00] miracle.
Irene: I’m a living proof of God’s grace that sustains his children for the storms that had to be part of the title of my book. So it’s Grace In The Storms, A Living Proof of Grace.
Paula: Yes. And that’s what you are living proof of good. For our listeners before we even came on, we talked about how going through difficult times in life. Sometimes it’s not really our story. It’s God’s story so that we can use that as living human beings to inspire others to know that God is alive and that there’s hope because many times there’s so many of us who are living or so many people. Some of us have been down that road where it seems the situation has seemed hopeless. When we trust in God and he brings us through it. Someone hearing that story knows that they too can go through that storm. There is a plan. You didn’t go through that storm alone [00:25:00] and that’s obviously. A case with you, Irene.
Irene: Yeah.
Paula: I mean, I had a question to offer. How has your pain brought purpose and strength? I think you’ve answered it.
Irene: Well, I’ve always believed that our pain would be in vain if it does not serve us a gain for others. Yes. And I also know that God never wastes our pain. No, he doesn’t. We can transform our pain to something that is meaningful and significant that can make a difference, not just for ourselves, but for others. It’s always about others. So, I mean, the first thing was for me to, you know, work on setting up the foundation. Yes. But of course, by the time I started sharing my story, you know, everywhere to inspire hope, I began to attract people who were going through issues and needed to be [00:26:00] supported. And I realized that I could talk to them from experience, but I wanted to be able to do it as a professional.
So I did. I started taking courses. I did the the trauma informed special care. I did therapeutic marriage counselling. I did… it still wasn’t enough for me. So I went and did a professional coaching course which lasted for about three years so that I could become a certified professional. So on the one hand, we’re giving legs. On the other hand, I’m teaching people how to go beyond the pain and find purpose in it. And I have to take a look at what happened to you and know that there is something in what happened to you. We do not deny the pain, but pain has so much power inherent in it. And it has the power to dictate how you behave now. [00:27:00] And direct how you transact in the future. And that is so much power to give one thing, something that happened to you. Why don’t we harness the power in the pain and transform it to something that is meaningful and significant. And so for me, that has become my mission to help people harness the power in that pain.
I mean, we know how we harness the power in the wind, how we harness the power of water to produce electricity. We can do the same with pain. Harness that power and transform it. Pain, painful experiences, traumatic experiences as a raw material. You may not have a choice on what happened to you, but you do have a choice of what you do with what happened to you. And that for me is the power that we can gain back from pain to dictate how we deal with that [00:28:00] situation and transform the rawness of pain, the brokenness that comes with it, and into something that benefit others, something that is purposeful and the finest qualities of our characters are revealed in the crucible of afflictions. The first thing is you’ll get to know yourself, who you are, what stuff you’re made of, and that in itself is so empowering. What did not kill you, what you survived, must not bury you.
Paula: Yes, and make you stronger.
Irene: That is the shift that I want people to be able to have in their mindset, in their perspective. That’s what I do with my story, to help people to shift. Make that shift. It happened. Yes. [00:29:00] What next?
Paula: What next?
Irene: What are you going to do with it? What can you transform it into? And so that’s where we got purpose. Something purposeful can come out of it. Power being empowered yourself and harnessing the power and transforming that power to a positive one that can ignite something more significant. The profit, everybody benefits. I don’t know how many people are profiting from what I would say. They profit because it brings them hope. It helps them to have a new perspective to what they have been through. Even if it’s one person, it would have been well worth the journey.
Paula: Absolutely.
Irene: But today, the foundation has provided limbs to over 120 amputees [00:30:00] and other services and so forth. I mean, at least over 200 amputees have benefited from what happened to me.
Paula: What a story and what a true story and what a story of hope. I can’t stop looking at you in amazement, but even more importantly, thanking God for how he has used you to be an instrument of hope. So before we go. I do want to ask you if you can share with people, well, before we even get to that, I would love you to talk a little bit on what it means to be a certified faith informed professional transformational trauma coach. I know we talked about the purpose in pain and there’s hope and how you can use that to help others and that’s the profit, but the faith informed part is something I’d like you to have a little bit [00:31:00] in it because I’m a Christian, and you’re a Christian too, and faith means a lot to me as I know it does to you.
Irene: You know, I had to put that in because it’s a niche that I wanted to create for myself where we bring faith in. I don’t know how we can achieve transformational change and a sustainable one without anchoring it on the word of God.
Paula: Amen.
Irene: How do we really heal without the sealing, the healing power that comes from God? So I bring faith into my work with the permission of my clients. And the good thing is that majority of my clients are people of faith and that’s what they’re seeking. I’ve had clients who come to me that look, I’ve been to 101 therapists and they are not hearing me [00:32:00] because I want something I can anchor hope on. And so for me, it becomes an opportunity to be able to bring the truth of God’s word. How do you even begin to process your pain? If you don’t have a correct understanding of your identity.
And who are you, if you’re not defined by the one who created you. And if you can have a correct understanding of your identity as defined by your creator, it is a starting point. Your pain does not define you, your traumatic experience does not define you. It’s a part of your story. It’s a chapter in your story, and you can write a new chapter with that story where you have an understanding of who you are, who God called you to be. And how do we restore to wholesomeness if we don’t anchor on the truth of the Word of God? The Bible says that I wish that you are well and you are in good health, even as your [00:33:00] soul prospers. And so that means if your soul is not prospering, it affects the entirety of your being and how does your soul prospers if it doesn’t have the oxygen. That is the word of God. So that is the faith component. And I knew I was running. I was running as in line, especially in professional coaching when you bring faith in, but I also have to be responsive to my client.
Paula: Yes.
Irene: My client wants to anchor the process of God’s word. And I know that makes a difference. That’s what I bring along with my journey with the permission of my client. If you want to bring faith in, I’m ready to bring faith in. And I have seen phenomenal transformation come in when we anchor it on the truth of God’s word for us.
Paula: Which I see
Irene: I… person like I do. I won’t ask you to join my [00:34:00] faith. No, but I’ve just delivered to you what the word says and then you make the best of it.
Paula: Amen.
Irene: So that’s the faith informed part of being. So I trained to be a trauma care specialist. I trained to be a transformational coach. So I brought to together trauma and transformational coaching and accurate on faith. That’s what it is about.
Paula: Thank you for explaining that because, you know, as I mentioned to our viewers, both Irene and I are Christians and we believe in a God who has a plan and a purpose for our lives. No matter what happens, there is a purpose. And if that purpose, you said something earlier, Irene, if it’s just one person. That you’re able to help that may be the one person that God wanted you to help at that time. We don’t know what their own life is going to look like. They may take that and help millions of them and you did what you had [00:35:00] to do.
Irene: In heaven now, we will get to, when we get to heaven, we will understand it better. We will have a full picture. For now, I want my pain to serve as something of eternal significance.
Paula: Amen.
Irene: And I think that. It’s a double tragedy for us to go through something painful and waste it.
Paula: And waste it.
Irene: Not mine it for everything it’s been delivered to us.
Paula: Yes. So with this, I want you to tell my viewers and listeners, where can they find you on if they’re looking for someone like you were looking like someone who can help them or help their loved ones.
Irene: Yeah, I’m Fitstam on social media. Beyond the Pain is on Purpose Beyond the Pain is on Instagram and I have that on Instagram and also on Facebook. Irene T. Olumese’s page is on Facebook as [00:36:00] well. I’m also on YouTube Irene T. Olumese’s YouTube channel, where I share all that I do. I have my website irenetolumese. com. So, you can find me on social media. You can find me on YouTube and website. And you can reach out to me at greatirene.graceinthestump@gmail. com. irene.graceinthestumpos@gmail.com.
Paula: Thank you so much. And to you, my listeners and viewers, I want to thank you for tuning in to this episode. I have always said that our mission is that you leave inspired, filled with hope or educated. I know today was no different. You definitely have been filled with hope. And if you’d like to be a guest on this show, I ask [00:37:00] that you reach out to me on either my website, which is chattingwiththeexperts. com or you can find me on LinkedIn. Just search for Paula Okonneh there. I’m also on Instagram.
And my handle there is at chat_experts_podcast. And these days, I’m venturing out more onto Facebook. Just look at all of them, and you’ll find me. Irene, thank you for your inspirational story today. Just looking at you, you are a walking miracle of God. And your life is a blessing to me.
Irene: I give God praise.
Paula: Amen. Thank you.